The Holes in the Story

"Well, the cover story has a few holes in it, but I think it's still passable at this point."  This was a line from an e-mail I sent to a co-worker regarding the surprise party we were hours away from throwing for our boss.  Earlier in the day, we decided that a cover story was needed to explain away the mounds of food that were being carried into the clinic via nurses, admin, and nutritionists.  We usually bring homemade lunches to work, but those come in cute, flowery bags and not Pyrex and Tupperware.  We usually bring sandwiches and side dishes, but those sandwiches do not require a pound of shaved roast beef or sliced cheese, nor does it require a large helping of potato salad.

The story started off innocent enough.  After all, it had to be simple and repeatable and one that made sense, even when it didn't.  (I may have been a little enthusiastic about the idea of creating a cover story.)  After a short discussion, the story emerged:  Since a few of the nurses in Family Planning had birthdays in May, we as a clinic decided it would be nice to have a small party at our staff meeting day.  Simple, right?  It made sense too, because we try to have parties once a quarter or so and they always happen on staff meeting day, which is a half day of work.

It only took about twenty minutes for the first hole to appear.  Our boss walked in about the same time one of our nurses walked in with all the ingredients for her favorite cream cheese spread.  I shook my head, because of all the people Kristi could have run into, she ran into the one person who wasn't known for keeping quiet.  To her credit, she tried to explain away her food.  However, she explained the ingredients (cream cheese, crackers, and jalapeno jelly) by saying "I'm hungry because I didn't have breakfast." 

At this point, we decided that the ruse was worth keeping up, because if there's only one crazy person, you can explain them away.  This is when the second hole was discovered.  Remember those nurses whose birthdays we were celebrating?  We don't normally make the birthday people bring food, but as we attempted to explain why we were having the party the door to the refrigerator was opened in front of my boss. Lo and behold, there sat a 13x9 pan of roasted chicken with the supposed birthday girl's name written on the sticky note affixed to the lid.  

The third and final hole in the story came about the time one of our regional staff appeared.  Tracy doesn't just "show up" at a clinic unannounced, she always has a specific purpose.  Believe it or not, showing up for random birthday parties during a staff meeting is not a specific purpose for her!  Thankfully, Tracy called before she came to tell us when she would be arriving, and knowing this we had people posted at the front door who could whisk her to the site of the party.  This would have worked out really well if Kristi had just stayed in her office.  If.  It was at the very moment Tracy walked in the front door with a dish of homemade potato salad and a large planter of flowers that Kristi decided to walk to the front of the clinic.  Oops.  One of my more alert co-workers saw this and motioned for Tracy to hide, which she did.  When we finally got Kristi out of the way, I went into the lobby to find that Tracy had hidden in the family bathroom in the lobby. It's quite a sight to see a respected supervisor peering out through a tiny crack between the door and its frame, wondering if the coast was clear.  

When it was all said and done, the cover story was almost unnecessary.  You see, we were having so much fun setting up for the party that we forgot to keep quiet as we set out the food and decorations.  This is a big problem, especially when the party room is right next to the boss' office.  Silly workers...