Ah Christmas. So many traditions, so many memories! As I sit here, in the midst of finally decorating my apartment, one by one my favorite Christmas memories are returning to me.
The first memory of Christmas past came to mind when I opened up my Christmas tin of decorations. I was greeted by the aroma of cinnamon. Now, to many of you this is a "warm" scent, one that reeks of Christmas and the cold weather/warm house, boughs of holly, blah blah blah. When I smell cinnamon, I gag a little, then laugh. Why? Well, it all stems back to one cold day about 14 years ago, when I was a poor child of only 9. I know that I was 9 because I was wearing my Christmas sweater with the stocking on it, and the stocking made a pocket. I don't remember ever having any other themed Christmas clothing, but I really liked that sweater.
Anyways, I digress. (Greg and Keri, stop laughing at how I tell my stories!) We were at Kooks' house making all sorts of Christmas goodies. I can't remember all of what was baked that day, but I do remember the cinnamon hard tack candy. As all good cooks will do, the recipe was being followed to create a masterful work of confectionary bliss, when a certain family member decided that the two drops of cinnamon flavoring called for was not enough. I am not 100% sure of all the events that followed, but I do know that extra flavoring was added to the mix and the house was filled with the overpowering aroma of cinnamon. I couldn't take the scent, so I kept moving around the house trying to find just one place that didn't reek of the strong scent that was plaguing my nostrils. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I went to an open window and pressed my face against the screen so that I could inhale the cold, crisp air coming from outside. Obviously I survived this traumatic event, and my mom tries to convince me that it wasn't as bad as I make it out to be. But to this day, whenever I smell cinnamon anything I can feel the metal screen pressing on my nose and an overwhelming urge to get away from the offending object. I do laugh too, because, let's face it, it's just a funny situation, and ultimately it reminds me of all the fun times I have had with my mom and my aunts.
It is freezing cold in Summerville right now, so it finally felt right to turn on some Christmas tunes. As the same old songs started playing, they sounded so nice! Finally, for the first time in over two months, something familiar that made me feel like I was "home" and not a stranger in some far away place. Heck, I don't even mind the super annoying versions of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Jingle Bells as sung by Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra, respectively. (But if I hear Dominic the Donkey, I WILL go insane!) The second song I heard tonight was a lovely piece by Kenny Loggins entitled, "Please Celebrate Me Home." Now, I wasn't particularly touched by the message or anything. On the contrary, I laugh all the way through this song, or more specifically, my version of this song. I am not a good singer by any stretch, so I never sing in front of other people if I can help it. I don't even sing in my apartment on the off chance that my neighbors should be able to hear me through the walls. But this song, I sing. Always. And like I said, it is MY version that I enjoy singing.
Once upon a time, when I was 16, I was in Medina with my mom and siblings. We were in the van (I loved the van. Kacy killed it.) driving by Farmer's Exchange when the song came on the radio. All through my life I had in mind what the song was about, but at 13, I decided that the lyrics I sang had to be incorrect. (This was the time before the Homonai's had an internet connection, so I had never thought to Google the lyrics.) Finally at 16 I knew that I had to be wrong and it was time to set the record straight. So I spoke up and said, "I know what I am about to say is wrong, but I can't help it. I know he's not singing, "We celebrate meatballs," but that's all I can hear. What is he really singing?!" Being the loving, supporting person that she is, my mom did not snicker at my comment. She gave me a "What the heck?" look and started laughing very loudly! When she stopped laughing, she explained the actual lyrics as the song continued. I accepted her explanation of the lyrics, but to this day when I hear this version of the song, I sing happily "We...celebrate meatballs. Give me a number one....." I know I am wrong, but I am content in my wrongness. (Which surprisingly, Google spell check is accepting as a word!) As a side note: It only sounds like this until the choir starts singing. They have better enunciation than Mr. Loggins, so I understand them. Also, Reuben Studdard released his version of this song, and it is horrible, because there is no imagining lyrics about meatballs when he sings because he too has relatively good enunciation.
There are many more Christmas memories that I could write about, and want to write about, but Cooper is apparently having difficulty chewing his rawhide and I need to assist him before he chokes. That reminds me of another good story about Kacy's psycho cat eating almost three feet of ribbon one time. In any case, sleep tight, and tomorrow when you wake up begin lobbying your local radio stations to replace Harry Connick Jr.'s cheesy renditions of Christmas songs with the heavenly sounds of Michael Buble's Christmas songs. Because we all know that Michael Buble is the best singer ever.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
White Elephant Exchanges....
I decided today at my office's White Elephant gift exchange that this is perhaps the least effective way to give gifts to one another. Allow me to explain.
First of all, no one ever really knows the rules of a White Elephant exchange. God bless the first person to ask, "How do we play?" because you know that upon uttering those words, that poor person will be trying to keep track of what five people around them are saying. My favorite is the person who explains the game by saying, "This is the game we played last year. Do you remember?" Ummm, no. If they asked you how you play the game, I would venture a guess that they do NOT remember. Then you have, "My family calls it Yankee Swap. So it's just like that." (By the way, I had a co-worker say to me "We call it a White Elephant exchange, but since you're from the North, you probably call it Yankee Swap." She was amazed when I told her no, I didn't.) This answer has the potential to be helpful, but often it is just like telling the person that they should remember from last year. This period of temporary insanity has the potential to take up ten minutes of your party.
In any case, one person will eventually start talking more than everyone else and louder than everyone else and be deemed "THE PERSON" to explain the game. As this person explains their particular version, the other four people will be chiming in as well. At this point, all hope of an orderly game is lost. After a lengthy and often confusing explanation, the person who asked for the explanation will attempt to silence all the talkers and say, "I think I get it. Why don't we start, and I'll just figure it out as we go." This never ends well. Keep this in mind and I'll revisit this point in a few paragraphs.
Now it's time to start the game. If you have a smart person leading the game, they will have already prepared all of the number slips needed to get the game going. If not, then there is the head count, the second head count after someone moves, and the third headcount when someone starts talking during the second head count and the counter loses track of what number they were on. Numbering the paper slips used to run the game as you go is also fun because if you're not prepared, inevitably you will end up not being able to find the paper you need or a container in which to hold all of the little slips. Also, no one ever remember to designate whether the number is a 6 or a 9. That adds some spice to the game!
Drawing the number slips is another entertaining segment of the exchange. There are the people who complain about their numbers, "I don't want to be number 1." "Ugh, I'm number 10 out of 20? I'll only be able to see half the gifts at that point." "Can I switch with someone?" Then you have the people you just want to smack upside the head. These are usually the people who sit there and try to peek at the slips to get the best number possible, or the people who will sit there and swirl the numbers around and around like they're stirring a pot, hoping their fingers will become magnets and attract the most perfect number.
Finally we reach the main attraction. It is finally time to start opening gifts. Honestly, this is my least favorite part of the game. If I am the one picking a gift, I hate looking at a pile of gifts and try to quickly decide which one to open. There are too many variables for me. What if the big present actually is a small present wrapped by someone who is trying to fool me? What if that little present is a really valuable gift card? Is the shoddily wrapped present one of those, "I forgot until about ten minutes before and so I just grabbed a candle?" I am always afraid I will get the "cool" gift too, because I know it's only a matter of time before it leaves my hands, and I hate getting all excited about a gift only to have it snatched. It also makes me nervous to watch other people open gifts too. I always want to give a gift that someone will like and not make the, "Oh, that's so...cute..." statement. Plus, my gift is always one of the last to be chosen, and that bugs me. I have tried decorating it all pretty pretty, putting it in a bag, wrapping it in a box, and even leaving it in a low-key packaging. All this effort is to no avail, it always gets picked during the final rounds.
Don't forget, that during all this gift-opening, you still have the person who isn't 100% sure what is going on. This will inevitably lead to someone breaking a rule set by the loud talker. Most times this violation will be unnoticed the first time it happens. The second time a rule is broken, it will always be noticed because there is another player whose turn is upcoming and you can be sure that they are keeping a VERY close eye on every little detail so that their chance at a "perfect" turn is not jeapordized. This will bring up another lengthy discussion about the rules. It will be discussed that participants have broken the rules multiple times already and then there will be even furthur discussion about people returning gifts, replaying a turn, etc. until one brave soul shouts out, "Let's just play by the rules from now on and forget the last few turns!" This upsets most of the people whose turns were affected by the first rule-breaker, but if you're lucky, you have a room full of people who will silently sit and suffer the indignity of it all. And if you do have someone who wants to campaign for justice? Throw eggs at them. That'll make them clam up.
Finally, after all the gifts have been stolen and restolen several times and long after you get tired of the "salesman" who keeps trying to offer up their gift (which no one else will EVER want), the final brave soul grabs the final gift on the table. At this point, the game is over. Unless you want to have an argument about (note: read to the end of the sentence as quickly as you can in a feminine tone with only one breath) how your family has always played the version where you give the first person a chance to steal because that's how my mom always wanted to play it I don't care that you didn't say this was the way to do it when you set the game up today this is how it should be played it's not fair to number 1 yes it's the rule all the time even though it is pretty convenient that I was number 1 this time. The person with the "cool" gift proudly shows off their treasure, people who have stolen from another person "joke" about the other's person's facial expressions when the gift was stolen. Generally, no matter what the outcome, it is mutally agreed upon by all to find a new way to exchange gifts next year. A smart person will always know that no matter what, this vicious cycle will continue forever and ever.
At today's game, we also had a woman who was very happy with the gift she received. Not that this is unusual to be happy with a gift, but as we were discussing what we had all brought for the exchange, through process of elimination we discovered that she had purchased that gift and placed it in the exchange with the intention of stealing it back for her own use at home. In her words, "I don't want anything I don't want, so I got something that I did want and it was my plan all along to take this." I am not entirely sure how I feel about this, but I am leaning towards not liking this...oh well. I ended up with some nice Christmas decorations that I enjoy!
Having written this, I must say...while the least effective way to exchange gifts, it may also be the most hilarious. I am looking forward to many more White Elephant Exchanges (or Chinese gift exchange, Yankee Swap, etc.) in the future.
I can't say goodnight yet, as it's still only mid-afternoon, but I will say: Drive safe and know that 'palmetto bug' is just a fancy term for cockroach. (Someone fooled me with that and I am not too pleased!)
First of all, no one ever really knows the rules of a White Elephant exchange. God bless the first person to ask, "How do we play?" because you know that upon uttering those words, that poor person will be trying to keep track of what five people around them are saying. My favorite is the person who explains the game by saying, "This is the game we played last year. Do you remember?" Ummm, no. If they asked you how you play the game, I would venture a guess that they do NOT remember. Then you have, "My family calls it Yankee Swap. So it's just like that." (By the way, I had a co-worker say to me "We call it a White Elephant exchange, but since you're from the North, you probably call it Yankee Swap." She was amazed when I told her no, I didn't.) This answer has the potential to be helpful, but often it is just like telling the person that they should remember from last year. This period of temporary insanity has the potential to take up ten minutes of your party.
In any case, one person will eventually start talking more than everyone else and louder than everyone else and be deemed "THE PERSON" to explain the game. As this person explains their particular version, the other four people will be chiming in as well. At this point, all hope of an orderly game is lost. After a lengthy and often confusing explanation, the person who asked for the explanation will attempt to silence all the talkers and say, "I think I get it. Why don't we start, and I'll just figure it out as we go." This never ends well. Keep this in mind and I'll revisit this point in a few paragraphs.
Now it's time to start the game. If you have a smart person leading the game, they will have already prepared all of the number slips needed to get the game going. If not, then there is the head count, the second head count after someone moves, and the third headcount when someone starts talking during the second head count and the counter loses track of what number they were on. Numbering the paper slips used to run the game as you go is also fun because if you're not prepared, inevitably you will end up not being able to find the paper you need or a container in which to hold all of the little slips. Also, no one ever remember to designate whether the number is a 6 or a 9. That adds some spice to the game!
Drawing the number slips is another entertaining segment of the exchange. There are the people who complain about their numbers, "I don't want to be number 1." "Ugh, I'm number 10 out of 20? I'll only be able to see half the gifts at that point." "Can I switch with someone?" Then you have the people you just want to smack upside the head. These are usually the people who sit there and try to peek at the slips to get the best number possible, or the people who will sit there and swirl the numbers around and around like they're stirring a pot, hoping their fingers will become magnets and attract the most perfect number.
Finally we reach the main attraction. It is finally time to start opening gifts. Honestly, this is my least favorite part of the game. If I am the one picking a gift, I hate looking at a pile of gifts and try to quickly decide which one to open. There are too many variables for me. What if the big present actually is a small present wrapped by someone who is trying to fool me? What if that little present is a really valuable gift card? Is the shoddily wrapped present one of those, "I forgot until about ten minutes before and so I just grabbed a candle?" I am always afraid I will get the "cool" gift too, because I know it's only a matter of time before it leaves my hands, and I hate getting all excited about a gift only to have it snatched. It also makes me nervous to watch other people open gifts too. I always want to give a gift that someone will like and not make the, "Oh, that's so...cute..." statement. Plus, my gift is always one of the last to be chosen, and that bugs me. I have tried decorating it all pretty pretty, putting it in a bag, wrapping it in a box, and even leaving it in a low-key packaging. All this effort is to no avail, it always gets picked during the final rounds.
Don't forget, that during all this gift-opening, you still have the person who isn't 100% sure what is going on. This will inevitably lead to someone breaking a rule set by the loud talker. Most times this violation will be unnoticed the first time it happens. The second time a rule is broken, it will always be noticed because there is another player whose turn is upcoming and you can be sure that they are keeping a VERY close eye on every little detail so that their chance at a "perfect" turn is not jeapordized. This will bring up another lengthy discussion about the rules. It will be discussed that participants have broken the rules multiple times already and then there will be even furthur discussion about people returning gifts, replaying a turn, etc. until one brave soul shouts out, "Let's just play by the rules from now on and forget the last few turns!" This upsets most of the people whose turns were affected by the first rule-breaker, but if you're lucky, you have a room full of people who will silently sit and suffer the indignity of it all. And if you do have someone who wants to campaign for justice? Throw eggs at them. That'll make them clam up.
Finally, after all the gifts have been stolen and restolen several times and long after you get tired of the "salesman" who keeps trying to offer up their gift (which no one else will EVER want), the final brave soul grabs the final gift on the table. At this point, the game is over. Unless you want to have an argument about (note: read to the end of the sentence as quickly as you can in a feminine tone with only one breath) how your family has always played the version where you give the first person a chance to steal because that's how my mom always wanted to play it I don't care that you didn't say this was the way to do it when you set the game up today this is how it should be played it's not fair to number 1 yes it's the rule all the time even though it is pretty convenient that I was number 1 this time. The person with the "cool" gift proudly shows off their treasure, people who have stolen from another person "joke" about the other's person's facial expressions when the gift was stolen. Generally, no matter what the outcome, it is mutally agreed upon by all to find a new way to exchange gifts next year. A smart person will always know that no matter what, this vicious cycle will continue forever and ever.
At today's game, we also had a woman who was very happy with the gift she received. Not that this is unusual to be happy with a gift, but as we were discussing what we had all brought for the exchange, through process of elimination we discovered that she had purchased that gift and placed it in the exchange with the intention of stealing it back for her own use at home. In her words, "I don't want anything I don't want, so I got something that I did want and it was my plan all along to take this." I am not entirely sure how I feel about this, but I am leaning towards not liking this...oh well. I ended up with some nice Christmas decorations that I enjoy!
Having written this, I must say...while the least effective way to exchange gifts, it may also be the most hilarious. I am looking forward to many more White Elephant Exchanges (or Chinese gift exchange, Yankee Swap, etc.) in the future.
I can't say goodnight yet, as it's still only mid-afternoon, but I will say: Drive safe and know that 'palmetto bug' is just a fancy term for cockroach. (Someone fooled me with that and I am not too pleased!)
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