Meow

Since I was five, my family has always had at least one cat. We've had quite a few memorable ones, including Daddy Kitty (who was female), Strawberry (who thought she should be human), Munchkin (who churned out more kittens than I thought possible), and Fluffy (who is now a sweet cat despite the fact that she was an evil, evil thing when we first got her). Up until last week, if you had asked me how I felt about cats, I would have told you that I thought cats were sweet, mostly docile creatures who were nice because they ignored you and left you alone most of the time. Now? Cats are demon spawn. Much like Lucifer, they are charming and cute until they think they can take over the world. Then, all hell breaks loose.

I went to a pet shop in Logan over Veteran’s Day weekend. I had been researching whether or not it would be feasible for me to get a parakeet and decided to see if anyone at the local store could offer some advice. I met a nice employee, we talked about the birds, and I headed towards the door. I would not have even noticed there were kittens had one little paw not stuck out and grabbed my shirt. But one did, and I was drawn in. This little kitten was so friendly, doing its best to try and slip through the bars so it could get closer to me and purring nonstop. I wanted to buy it on the spot, but walked out. Like any mature adult, I consulted three people about whether or not I should buy the cat: my mom, my sister, and my best friend. All three said no. So I spent five days trying to talk myself out of the cat before finally returning to the pet store to buy it.

The first five days were great. Mose is a fluffy, cuddly cat, and he liked to curl up in my lap while I wrote. Each night he slept on the small of my back, purring all the while. He liked to play with the catnip mice I bought him, entertaining himself for the better part of an hour most nights. He was so cute that I was almost willing to accept that I had taken two more steps towards crazy cat lady old spinsterhood by welcoming him into my house. Then, all hell broke loose.

I forgot that kittens don’t retract their claws very well. My legs are covered in little kitten claw marks from every time he has attempted to climb up into the chair by launching himself, claws first, onto my lap only to slip and hang by one claw onto my pants. I have also caught him hanging from clothes in my closet by one claw after he attempted to climb up them.

I forgot that kittens think everything that moves is something to attack. This includes my fingers as they move across the keyboard, my feet as I walk from one end of the apartment to the other, and my toes as I tap them to the beat of the music. One word: ouch.

I forgot that whatever you’re doing is the most interesting thing in the world and must be interrupted immediately. When I read he sits down right in the middle of the book. When I write in my journal he bites the pen and tries to run off with it. As I've been working on my writing projects this month, more than one paragraph has had ======= or ppppppppppppp or 888888888888 typed across the page. The best was they day he hit the backspace key.

I forgot that cats have no regard for your sleeping habits. Each night as I attempt to drift to sleep, he runs up and down the hallway, then jumps around in the boxes that I have yet to unpack before returning to the bedroom to jump in the clothes hamper, onto the dresser, onto the bed, and into the closet before repeating the pattern for the next thirty minutes.

So yes, my cat acts like demon spawn, but I really like my Mose. He's just so fluffy. He’s adorable when he plays with his catnip mouse. He runs to the door each night when I get home from work. He curls up next to me when I’m on the couch and purrs like mad. He looks so cute when he sits just so in the windowsill. Like I said, almost willing to accept that I’m two (maybe three) steps closer to crazy cat lady old spinsterhood. (Pray for me…)

Dream On...

"You have a lot of dreams, you know that?" It was craft time at OSU Extension, as we stood around a Christmas tree, decking it out with pretty lights and sparkly "ting." I looked up at the co-worker who said this with a quizzed look. She picked up on my look and proceeded to list off the three different dreams or "life goals" that I had brought up at one point or another. I laughed and simply responded that "she had no idea." As we finished our project, I expanded on my statement and laid out my various dreams.

1.) I want to be on Jeopardy! Between my extensive buzzer training in Bible Bowl and my knack for remembering some of the most random facts, I think I could be successful. I even have a great piece for the "player profile" they do after the first break.

2.) I want to play the block piece of "Sleigh Ride" with an orchestra. Boston Pops is preferred, but playing with any group that tackles the song would be acceptable.

3.) I want to show a cow. Considering the fact that the Jr. Fair has adult showmanship each year and kids willing to loan me a project animal for half an hour, this dream could be realized next summer.

Those three are just the ones my office knows about. Since I'm not good at narrowing down my goals, here's the rest:

4.) I want to get my pilot's license.

5.) When I get my first house, I'm going to buy a joggling board for my front porch.

6.) I want to be fluent in three languages, one of them French.

7.) I am going to figure out where my Homonai relatives lived before immigrating and then I'm going to visit that town. I'm also going to visit my Canadian great-grandparent's hometown just for kicks. Thankfully for my budget, the Birds and Henrys have been in Ohio so long there's no need to travel.

8.) I want a beach house on Sullivan's Island. (Even though Kacy thinks it's the worst beach in the world)

9.) I want to ride in a hot air balloon, sky dive, and bungee jump.

10.) I want to be a professor. My current job allows for this possibility. Have I mentioned how much I love my job?

11.) I want to make it back to SC within the next six months just so I can sit back and enjoy a Sunday morning with my Young Life friends (I've been trying to find an Ohio version of ya'll, and I'm realizing just how irreplaceable ya'll are!)

12.) I want to have book published- by a real publisher, not this Amazon self-publication nonsense!

13.) I want to live through tonight. I'm normally not bugged by bad weather (I did get to see a funnel cloud once and got to cross that off the list!), but living in a rural area with already sketchy power...I'm not thinking I'll sleep tonight ;)

Have a great evening, everyone, and stay safe, all of my Ohio people.

Apologies

I have a pride issue. I like to think that I operate on a higher plane of existence than I actually do, and I act like it far too often. But as the verse says, "Pride goes before a fall, and a haughty spirit goes before destruction." Over the last two days my pride has taken a fall, and my spirit, while not destroyed, suffered a few bruises. Allow me to offer some apologies to explain what has happened.

1.) I apologize to everyone I have secretly and not so secretly mocked regarding technological abilities...aka my mother and most other individuals over the age of 40. Yesterday I was unable to properly format a Word document even though the formatting was cutting and pasting. I also discovered that me using special features on Outlook is akin to me using an iPad: it just can't be done. Oh, and that was definitely me in the parking garage today looking for a slot to swipe my card when all I really needed to do was scan it.

2.) I apologize to my uncles for ever using you as an example in "bad behavior" stories. I recently discovered through some conversations that even the worst stories you, my mother, or my grandmother have told regarding your behavior as young adults (and, let's face it, as adults now) is child's play compared to what some other people's uncles have done and continue to do. In fact, I'm going to start filling out the sainthood paperwork for you all right now.

3.) I apologize to everyone of my colleagues in Ohio who has been referred to by a wrong name over the last four months. That includes you, Abbey/Amy, Taylor/Liz, Sandy/Lisa, and Jocelyn/Shannon. Although, in my defense, can I really be to blame that you are nearly identical to other people I in my life?

Lots of apologies all around tonight. On that note, I'm not going to apologize for ending this post. TTFN!