Second, allow me to share some highlights of our Indiana Adventure.
About a week and a half ago, I was singing my favorite Beach Boys song, "Kokomo." I was a little bored that night, and as we all know, bored Kate tends to make crazy plans. Twenty minutes later I found out that Kokomo was a reasonable four hour drive from home, and after another five minutes I found that my great-grandmother's birthplace of Cicero was a quick side trip off the route home. Later that week I mentioned my plans to Sheryl, who asked to join my adventure weekend. We were all set.
Many pictures were taken, nearly 500 miles were traveled, and much hilarity ensued. We recorded our favorite quotes of the trip for your enjoyment:
- We had wanted to buy a GoPro for the trip, but never got around to purchasing one. After I directed a few of my favorite driving phrases at a fellow motorist, Sheryl stated, "If I had gotten the GoPro, our recording would have been video only..."
- Upon seeing a motorcyclist riding erratically (and not wearing safety gear), we pretended he had some caveman-esque instructions for life after his inevitable accident : "Me type O. Sell heart. Not eyes."
- At lunch, we were in line behind a lady who was being more than a little rude to the woman taking her order. Someone started making quiet comments about not being rude and using nice words, in between wondering if the sharp points of her haircut were visual representations of her personality. Someone else (me) reminded the first someone to "Use your Indiana manners, not your Ohio manners."
- I may or may not have made a few (illegal) judgment calls about whether or not I could make it through some yellow lights. I said I was just implementing what I call the "Carolina Slide," but Sheryl decided that here, people making that move were known as "Indiana Idiots."
- We decided that the people of Indiana are so polite that they don't need stop lights, just stop signs (Seriously...every other intersection had stop signs.) No less than three times I pulled up to an intersection and waited for the light to turn green...even though there were no lights...anywhere. But again, everyone in Indiana must be so polite that they don't honk at out-of-town idiots.
- We stopped in Cicero and visited the cemetery where my great-great-grandparents are buried. We found their headstone, and then tried to find the headstone of one of their daughters. We even called Dad for help. When he finally got back to us, he started by saying, "You're going to have a little trouble finding her..." She hadn't been buried at that cemetery.
- I was getting a little punchy on the way home. At one point, Sheryl pretended to be writing down my "quotes" and said, "I eliminated the last 'f*** you.'"
- We passed a truck that was advertising jobs at their company. You could learn more about the company by calling "1-800-FON-DART." Five miles of me laughing about whatever fon darts could be.
- Further down the road, I noticed a truck that looked like it was carrying livestock. I mockingly said, "We should rescue whatever animals are on that truck." We passed the truck one minute later and I realized that what I thought were panels that were allowing air to circulate was actually just a design on the back of the truck...
- Someone saw moving objects and said, "Look, airport!" Someone else said, "Uh, no, that's Go-Karts" Then the first someone said, "You're right. That'd be one b**** of a landing..."
In other news, Sheryl chose not to attend church with me, lest our out-of-control conversations continue ;)
