I used to pride myself on having a great memory, one that would allow me to recall anything at a moment's notice. I could sometimes recall events from up to three or four years past, to the day, and tell you what happened. There once was a time when I could tell you what happened based on what I remember about little, completely unrelated pieces of information that I remembered from that day. It was awesome.
That is no longer true. I trace it back to a day, long ago during my sophomore year of college when I was working 30 hours a week and trying to take 18 credit hours, an Anatomy and Physiology lecture and lab among them. There is a great line from The Office, after one character has just completely lost it, where another character says, "I think we broke his brain." I remember the exact day that I felt that for the first time (For trying to prove a point about how bad my memory is, that is a really bad example.).
Anyways, that brings us to the present. I felt that since I was moving to a new area where I didn't know anyone,I wouldn't have as many demands on my time and I would be able to kind of relax and with relaxation bring back my sanity. Yeah. Right. Even as my life has slowed down in many areas, my sanity still remains elusive. Allow me to illustrate:
See the post right before this one? The one with two entries about milk? I will occasionally start a new blog topic, write a little bit about what I was thinking of, and then save it and move on until I have more time to elaborate on the subject. Today's topic was going to be about Monday mental lapses, where I tell people we will give them 16 oz of milk (or two glasses) or 16 gallons of milk, all in the same breath (I was really trying to tell them 16 qts of milk). Upon realizing that I happily posted those two lines, I gave more thought to my mental lapses and decided that I could write an entire blog entry about all of the crazy and stupid things I've done in the last few days because of mental lapses. Enjoy!
I lost my cell phone, and when I finally decided I couldn't find it and gave up, I decided to locate my cell phone by calling it with my home phone. I don't have a home phone. I tried to call my cell... with my cell.
I walked away from the stove thinking I had turned the burner off because there was no flame. I have an electric oven, there should never be a flame!
I put my pot of soup on the back burner of the range, turned on the burner and walked away. When I started to smell my cast iron skillet, which I was not using, I realized that I had turned on the front burner, where the lid to my cast iron skillet was resting. Prior to this I had been checking on the soup and couldn't figure out why it wasn't warming up any faster.
I freaked out because I drove with my spare car keys. That meant I didn't have my house keys to re-enter the house. I couldn't have locked the door unless I had locked it from the outside, with the key I didn't bring with me.
I left the door unlocked!
I "retraced" my steps today through my office building, trying to find out where I had left my water bottle. Per usual, it was on top of the refrigerator, where I always leave it while I refill the ice trays. Always.
I wrote a check to myself.
I wrote a check to a business and signed it with my work credentials: "Katherine Homonai, NES."
I find it very scary that I function in society like I do without unintentionally killing anyone. I scare myself that at 23 I forget the things I do. But such is life, you need an insane person in your life to make it interesting. I hope you enjoy reading about my insanity. Sleep tight and don't let the fire ants bite.
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