I have my own office, and it is quite nice. I would guess that the office is probably 12'x10'. On the east wall is a window. My desk is quite large. It takes up the southeast corner of the office, and is probably extends 6 feet from the wall in one direction and 5 fin the other. It has a lot of overhead storage space and there are a number of drawers. I have a scale and height measure in my office, as well as a bulletin board and a pamphlet holder. To complete the ensemble, I have two adult chairs, one child's rocking chair, and a little play area for the kids.
Sounds like the typical office, right? It really is, but I am the one writing this entry so I will give it my own spin and make it sound like some freaky little place!!
The window lets in a lot of sunlight in the morning, which means that even with the blinds shut it gets toasty in here. I am kind of dreading what summer is going to be like in here. Sometimes in the afternoon I will open the blinds for some natural light, which allows me to have a terrific view of a fenced-in yard...that has three heating and cooling units which are constantly running.
Did I mention that directly across from my office are the two employee bathrooms? My supervisor and fellow co-workers call this the "initiation office." Everyone who starts here works out of this office first. You can only imagine the smells that waft in here on occasion. Mostly they are "covered up" with a lovely mango-scented spray. Now, I have a pretty bad sense of smell for a lot of things, which is very helpful in this situation. That being said, some dummy here thought that the mango-scented air freshener was a good idea. On the other end of my "smell spectrum" are the scents that give me instant headaches. Apparently, among these select scents is mango. Sooooo...either way I hate it when I hear people heading into the bathroom. Also know that the window in my office does not open, so there is no chance of me ever airing this place out.
I do like my desk. I like that it is super large and I have tons of space to spread all of my paperwork over the course of a day. The only problem is, the areas that would be inaccesible for the small children to reach is also inaccesible to me, since I am not allowed to turn my back to the client during the certification process (It's mean to not look at them!) This means that I can't hide the phone and it's tempting cord from the grasp of little fingers. My office was used as a spare until I got here, and it became THE office site for storage. This includes the 8 cans of chemicals in the overhead drawers. Until I made my supervisor relocate said chemicals, I had the ability to sanitize every flat surface, kill roaches (ewwww!) and scent the world with, you guessed it, mango. Also included in these bins were a few chocolate pretzel bars from Special-K. They were pretty darn good, they made for a nice snack on a few days that I forgot breakfast. I also have 800 packs of Splenda in that Special-K box. I don't know who put them there, but they had a serious coffee/fake sugar problem!
The scale and height measure in my room are each of the offices for the "just in case" situation that has never happened. I wouldn't have any issue with this, except every child that walks in this room heads right for the scale and tries to use it as a trampoline. They will look up at the height measure and will try to reach for the perpendicular metal bar used to get the final height. Looking up at the bar combined with the jerky motion of their hands and the bars penchant to stick and unstick within seconds makes this a great eye-poking hazard. As you can imagine, when the parents don't see this/heed my warning, I just want to look at them and ask, "Do you really want to have to explain to your child why the other kids are teasing him and calling him 'Cyclops?" But, since I am a professional, I don't. On the outside.
At some point the the past, someone took it upon themselves to determine what colors make people feel certain emotions like happiness, tranquility, hunger and disbelief it isn't time to go home yet, etc. Apparently, blue is a happy color. I call it "health care blue." It is everywhere: The walls are blue, the chairs are all blue, the carpet is mostly blue, I signed my travel logs in blue pen, the dividers on the WIC charts are blue, blue, blue, blue.
The lovely blue walls are being painted right now, one at a time on the weekends by "good behavior" inmates from the local jail. They are such a wonderful crew. They carefully paint around all of the artwork hanging on the wall. While this is stupid in and of itself, it really shows here in my office since they painted around a 5'x4' painting that was eventually deemed "offensive" because of the feet of the children in the painting. So now I have a 5'x4' spot that is a lighter shade of "health care blue" than the rest of the office and I noticed today that it was replaced with two 8x11 sheets of paper with the WIC foods on them. Yep, covers that spot right up! Needless to say, when I have the time, I do a lot of redecorating in here.
The play area is a nice feature, it keeps the kids busy while I am playing "800 Fairly Inane Questions" with the parents. The only problem is, the only toys in the office are the only ones that are allowed to be in the office. This includes the number puzzle that is missing number 5 and number 1 pieces but for some reason includes the letter G. For the slightly older children, we have a battery operated toy that has something to do with reading, but the batteries don't work and all the buttons are jammed from years of abuse. Needless to say, unless my clients have really active imaginations, they aren't going to have much fun in my office.
Well, it is now time to move on in my day. So until the next time, have a safe drive home and please- don't ever paint the walls of your house blue!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Twas the night before Thanksgiving Eve...
...and all through the State of South Carolina it was almost 80 degrees. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy warm temperatures just as much as the next person, especially when I'm used to being freezing cold this time of year and already sick of the gray skies. (Which, except for that one day of snow, it sounds like you Ohio people don't have too much to complain about right now!)
That being said, two very traumatic things happened to me this week. First, I was driving through downtown Summerville and since it was late enough for it to be dark out, I was able to see all the pretty Christmas lights that they have decorating all of the oak and pine trees in the city center. It was absolutely gorgeous, they really went all out. But...I opened the window a crack to hear the concert that was also starting at that time and heard Christmas music. With that window opening I was able to feel the warm breeze blowing through my car. At that moment in time it ceased to be a beautifully decorated holiday scene and turned into those times when you're driving around in July and you find that one person who STILL hasn't taken down their Christmas lights (And no, they usually cannot claim the "Christmas in July" excuse. It's freaking July, you were too lazy!)
Second, as I was driving home from church on Sunday I turned my radio to the Charleston equivalent of 102.1 and heard Christmas music. It might not have been so bad if it had been a song I like, but it wasn't. So instead of singing along to my radio like I normally do, I got that "getting into a hot, stuffy car in the middle of June" feeling. I don't know about you, but whenever I hear Christmas music during June/July I get that nasty feeling like when you climb into a hot car and it makes me not even want to think about anything Christmas at all. That was the feeling I got Sunday. So instead of being excited for the coming season like I usually am...I just wasn't.
Ironically, the song on the radio was "Do They Know It's Christmas?" I despise that song. I just do, and always have. (note: I figured there was a deeper meaning, so I read up on the background. Having read what I did, it almost seems mean to be comparing relatively affluent people with starving Ethiopians, but I am going to anyways.) Once I thought about it a little more, I started laughing to myself. Obviously people around here know what Christmas is and they celebrate it just like we do in Ohio (the term "we," including myself as an Ohioan is still appropriate. I still have an Ohio license, so that makes me a dual citizen at the very least!) But the idea of celebrating Christmas in shorts and a t-shirt made me sad. "The Reason for the Season" aside, I want to know...can Charlestonians truly enjoy the Christmas season with the lack of snow? Is the viewing of Christmas lights less pleasurable when it isn't cold outside? Does caroling produce the same amount of cheeriness when you aren't bundled up in heavy winter coats and brightly decorated scarves and gloves? This remains to be seen!! Obviously, I know the answers to the above questions is yes, no, and yes, respectively. Christmas and the surrounding season is what you make it and ultimately we are celebrating the birth of a Savior and not decoratively frozen raindrops falling from the sky or hypothermia-inducing weather.
Everything about Christmas is going to be different for me this year, and I look forward to it. It will be different knowing that there is no chance for snow. It will be different when I turn on my AC and my Christmas lights at the same time. I would say it's going to be different to see palmettos decorated with lights rather than pine trees, but here in Summerville the "pine is sacred" according to the city motto, so I don't think that will change! In any case, different isn't bad, just a chance to experience the everyday aspects of life in new ways.
Well, my life is going to be incredibly busy for the next 30.5 hours and it is time to get some work done. What I want to know is why we are obsessed with cleaning our homes before we LEAVE. Is it just because we want to be able to say our homes were completely clean for 5 days? I don't know. All I know is that I am one of those obsessed people and there is work to be done.
There are a number of you that I will be seeing while home for Thanksgiving. If I don't see you, it's not because I don't want to. It mostly has to do with the fact that I will only be home for a little while. In any case, if you don't see me at Thanksgiving, find me around Christmas. I'll be home for awhile then!
Sleep tight and don't let the foxes bite!
That being said, two very traumatic things happened to me this week. First, I was driving through downtown Summerville and since it was late enough for it to be dark out, I was able to see all the pretty Christmas lights that they have decorating all of the oak and pine trees in the city center. It was absolutely gorgeous, they really went all out. But...I opened the window a crack to hear the concert that was also starting at that time and heard Christmas music. With that window opening I was able to feel the warm breeze blowing through my car. At that moment in time it ceased to be a beautifully decorated holiday scene and turned into those times when you're driving around in July and you find that one person who STILL hasn't taken down their Christmas lights (And no, they usually cannot claim the "Christmas in July" excuse. It's freaking July, you were too lazy!)
Second, as I was driving home from church on Sunday I turned my radio to the Charleston equivalent of 102.1 and heard Christmas music. It might not have been so bad if it had been a song I like, but it wasn't. So instead of singing along to my radio like I normally do, I got that "getting into a hot, stuffy car in the middle of June" feeling. I don't know about you, but whenever I hear Christmas music during June/July I get that nasty feeling like when you climb into a hot car and it makes me not even want to think about anything Christmas at all. That was the feeling I got Sunday. So instead of being excited for the coming season like I usually am...I just wasn't.
Ironically, the song on the radio was "Do They Know It's Christmas?" I despise that song. I just do, and always have. (note: I figured there was a deeper meaning, so I read up on the background. Having read what I did, it almost seems mean to be comparing relatively affluent people with starving Ethiopians, but I am going to anyways.) Once I thought about it a little more, I started laughing to myself. Obviously people around here know what Christmas is and they celebrate it just like we do in Ohio (the term "we," including myself as an Ohioan is still appropriate. I still have an Ohio license, so that makes me a dual citizen at the very least!) But the idea of celebrating Christmas in shorts and a t-shirt made me sad. "The Reason for the Season" aside, I want to know...can Charlestonians truly enjoy the Christmas season with the lack of snow? Is the viewing of Christmas lights less pleasurable when it isn't cold outside? Does caroling produce the same amount of cheeriness when you aren't bundled up in heavy winter coats and brightly decorated scarves and gloves? This remains to be seen!! Obviously, I know the answers to the above questions is yes, no, and yes, respectively. Christmas and the surrounding season is what you make it and ultimately we are celebrating the birth of a Savior and not decoratively frozen raindrops falling from the sky or hypothermia-inducing weather.
Everything about Christmas is going to be different for me this year, and I look forward to it. It will be different knowing that there is no chance for snow. It will be different when I turn on my AC and my Christmas lights at the same time. I would say it's going to be different to see palmettos decorated with lights rather than pine trees, but here in Summerville the "pine is sacred" according to the city motto, so I don't think that will change! In any case, different isn't bad, just a chance to experience the everyday aspects of life in new ways.
Well, my life is going to be incredibly busy for the next 30.5 hours and it is time to get some work done. What I want to know is why we are obsessed with cleaning our homes before we LEAVE. Is it just because we want to be able to say our homes were completely clean for 5 days? I don't know. All I know is that I am one of those obsessed people and there is work to be done.
There are a number of you that I will be seeing while home for Thanksgiving. If I don't see you, it's not because I don't want to. It mostly has to do with the fact that I will only be home for a little while. In any case, if you don't see me at Thanksgiving, find me around Christmas. I'll be home for awhile then!
Sleep tight and don't let the foxes bite!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
They said, I said. Then and Now
Parents. We all have them. Mine are both pretty awesome. I feel very blessed that I grew up with my Mom and Dad in a loving environment. However, before I sing their praises too much and they get too proud of themselves, I want to share with you their flaw: They give advice. For as long as I remember they kept trying to pass on their old, outdated notions to me like I didn't know what I was doing. Ugh. And the worst thing, they would almost always end their "helpful comments" with a statement like, "you'll thank me when you're older and out of the house." Well, now that I am older (I am not grown up. I am too young for that!) and on my own, allow me to prove them wrong once and for all. Here are some of the absurd statements they have told me over the years, my response to them then, and how I'm doing now.
Then (Them): "Turn off the lights. When you're paying your own electricity bill, you'll thank us for telling you this."
Then (Me): "I left it on for the cat."
Now: When I'm out walking the dog at night or when I'm walking trash out to the dumpster I will kind of look around and notice that my bedroom light, the bedroom closet light, the bathroom light, the kitchen light, the hallway light, the two living room lights, the dining room light, and the entryway light are ALL on. My neighbors? One room is lit, max.
Then (Them): "A place for everything and everything in its place. Things will run so much smoother for you."
Me (Then): "Whatever."
Now: I think each morning I make it out the door only to realize that I have forgotten my purse or phone or ID badge or something else that is important and have to turn off the car and get back in the house, fight the dog at the door and search like a crazy person to find whatever I'm looking for.
Then (Them- especially my mom): "Clean up after yourself. When you're out of the house, I will tell your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/landlord/neighbor/friend that I raised you to be a better housekeeper and not a slob like this!"
Then (Me): "I have a system. It looks messy, but I know where everything is. Besides, when it's my own place, I'll keep it looking nicer."
Now: A notice on my door that my apartment was conducting unit inspections and people would be inside my house for about five minutes led me to stay up until midnight trying to get the house clean so that they wouldn't see the giant pigsty of a house I had going.
Then (Them): "Clean up the kitchen as you go."
Me: "I don't care. I have to clean it up one way or another, why not wait until I'm all done."
Now: I currently have my meals for the next two weeks cooked up and put in the freezer, but the remnants of that meal are all over the kitchen and I don't really feel like cleaning up now that it's 10:15.
Then (Them): "Keep an eye on the animal food. Go out and buy some new food before you run out, that way it's not an emergency later."
Then (Me): "Yeah, yeah..."
Now: Twice I have had to do early morning runs to the Wal-Mart store 15 minutes from home so that I could feed my dog before I went to work.
Then (Them): "Take stuff with you when get out of the car."
Then (Me): <eye roll and heavy sigh>
Now: I think I have a rotting banana and banana muffins in the car as well as a take out cup from last week, a travel mug, a water bottle, church bulletins from the 8 Sundays I've been here, a whole bunch of training stuff from work, seashells, a broken crab shell, some pictures of friends, and my beach mat. Yeah, I try not to park next to my co-workers, ever.
So, as you can see, all their advice giving was for naught. I didn't listen to them and I turned out ok. I have a good job and I am living all by myself like a big girl.
<In a hushed tone>: I mean, if I did take their advice, life would be a lot easier, but you'll never hear ME admit that!
Well ladies and gentlemen, it is about that time where my brain shuts down and I have the vocabulary and writing style of a first grader. Plus, the 10:45 service at Crossroads always comes sooner than I expect it to. (And I'm out of dog food again, so I have to run to Wal-Mart early so that Cooper can have breakfast. Maybe it is time to take some of that advice!)
Good night and don't walk under the oak tree. (Falling acorns hurt your head.)
Then (Them): "Turn off the lights. When you're paying your own electricity bill, you'll thank us for telling you this."
Then (Me): "I left it on for the cat."
Now: When I'm out walking the dog at night or when I'm walking trash out to the dumpster I will kind of look around and notice that my bedroom light, the bedroom closet light, the bathroom light, the kitchen light, the hallway light, the two living room lights, the dining room light, and the entryway light are ALL on. My neighbors? One room is lit, max.
Then (Them): "A place for everything and everything in its place. Things will run so much smoother for you."
Me (Then): "Whatever."
Now: I think each morning I make it out the door only to realize that I have forgotten my purse or phone or ID badge or something else that is important and have to turn off the car and get back in the house, fight the dog at the door and search like a crazy person to find whatever I'm looking for.
Then (Them- especially my mom): "Clean up after yourself. When you're out of the house, I will tell your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/landlord/neighbor/friend that I raised you to be a better housekeeper and not a slob like this!"
Then (Me): "I have a system. It looks messy, but I know where everything is. Besides, when it's my own place, I'll keep it looking nicer."
Now: A notice on my door that my apartment was conducting unit inspections and people would be inside my house for about five minutes led me to stay up until midnight trying to get the house clean so that they wouldn't see the giant pigsty of a house I had going.
Then (Them): "Clean up the kitchen as you go."
Me: "I don't care. I have to clean it up one way or another, why not wait until I'm all done."
Now: I currently have my meals for the next two weeks cooked up and put in the freezer, but the remnants of that meal are all over the kitchen and I don't really feel like cleaning up now that it's 10:15.
Then (Them): "Keep an eye on the animal food. Go out and buy some new food before you run out, that way it's not an emergency later."
Then (Me): "Yeah, yeah..."
Now: Twice I have had to do early morning runs to the Wal-Mart store 15 minutes from home so that I could feed my dog before I went to work.
Then (Them): "Take stuff with you when get out of the car."
Then (Me): <eye roll and heavy sigh>
Now: I think I have a rotting banana and banana muffins in the car as well as a take out cup from last week, a travel mug, a water bottle, church bulletins from the 8 Sundays I've been here, a whole bunch of training stuff from work, seashells, a broken crab shell, some pictures of friends, and my beach mat. Yeah, I try not to park next to my co-workers, ever.
So, as you can see, all their advice giving was for naught. I didn't listen to them and I turned out ok. I have a good job and I am living all by myself like a big girl.
<In a hushed tone>: I mean, if I did take their advice, life would be a lot easier, but you'll never hear ME admit that!
Well ladies and gentlemen, it is about that time where my brain shuts down and I have the vocabulary and writing style of a first grader. Plus, the 10:45 service at Crossroads always comes sooner than I expect it to. (And I'm out of dog food again, so I have to run to Wal-Mart early so that Cooper can have breakfast. Maybe it is time to take some of that advice!)
Good night and don't walk under the oak tree. (Falling acorns hurt your head.)
Monday, November 1, 2010
Mental Lapses, part II
I used to pride myself on having a great memory, one that would allow me to recall anything at a moment's notice. I could sometimes recall events from up to three or four years past, to the day, and tell you what happened. There once was a time when I could tell you what happened based on what I remember about little, completely unrelated pieces of information that I remembered from that day. It was awesome.
That is no longer true. I trace it back to a day, long ago during my sophomore year of college when I was working 30 hours a week and trying to take 18 credit hours, an Anatomy and Physiology lecture and lab among them. There is a great line from The Office, after one character has just completely lost it, where another character says, "I think we broke his brain." I remember the exact day that I felt that for the first time (For trying to prove a point about how bad my memory is, that is a really bad example.).
Anyways, that brings us to the present. I felt that since I was moving to a new area where I didn't know anyone,I wouldn't have as many demands on my time and I would be able to kind of relax and with relaxation bring back my sanity. Yeah. Right. Even as my life has slowed down in many areas, my sanity still remains elusive. Allow me to illustrate:
See the post right before this one? The one with two entries about milk? I will occasionally start a new blog topic, write a little bit about what I was thinking of, and then save it and move on until I have more time to elaborate on the subject. Today's topic was going to be about Monday mental lapses, where I tell people we will give them 16 oz of milk (or two glasses) or 16 gallons of milk, all in the same breath (I was really trying to tell them 16 qts of milk). Upon realizing that I happily posted those two lines, I gave more thought to my mental lapses and decided that I could write an entire blog entry about all of the crazy and stupid things I've done in the last few days because of mental lapses. Enjoy!
I lost my cell phone, and when I finally decided I couldn't find it and gave up, I decided to locate my cell phone by calling it with my home phone. I don't have a home phone. I tried to call my cell... with my cell.
I walked away from the stove thinking I had turned the burner off because there was no flame. I have an electric oven, there should never be a flame!
I put my pot of soup on the back burner of the range, turned on the burner and walked away. When I started to smell my cast iron skillet, which I was not using, I realized that I had turned on the front burner, where the lid to my cast iron skillet was resting. Prior to this I had been checking on the soup and couldn't figure out why it wasn't warming up any faster.
I freaked out because I drove with my spare car keys. That meant I didn't have my house keys to re-enter the house. I couldn't have locked the door unless I had locked it from the outside, with the key I didn't bring with me.
I left the door unlocked!
I "retraced" my steps today through my office building, trying to find out where I had left my water bottle. Per usual, it was on top of the refrigerator, where I always leave it while I refill the ice trays. Always.
I wrote a check to myself.
I wrote a check to a business and signed it with my work credentials: "Katherine Homonai, NES."
I find it very scary that I function in society like I do without unintentionally killing anyone. I scare myself that at 23 I forget the things I do. But such is life, you need an insane person in your life to make it interesting. I hope you enjoy reading about my insanity. Sleep tight and don't let the fire ants bite.
That is no longer true. I trace it back to a day, long ago during my sophomore year of college when I was working 30 hours a week and trying to take 18 credit hours, an Anatomy and Physiology lecture and lab among them. There is a great line from The Office, after one character has just completely lost it, where another character says, "I think we broke his brain." I remember the exact day that I felt that for the first time (For trying to prove a point about how bad my memory is, that is a really bad example.).
Anyways, that brings us to the present. I felt that since I was moving to a new area where I didn't know anyone,I wouldn't have as many demands on my time and I would be able to kind of relax and with relaxation bring back my sanity. Yeah. Right. Even as my life has slowed down in many areas, my sanity still remains elusive. Allow me to illustrate:
See the post right before this one? The one with two entries about milk? I will occasionally start a new blog topic, write a little bit about what I was thinking of, and then save it and move on until I have more time to elaborate on the subject. Today's topic was going to be about Monday mental lapses, where I tell people we will give them 16 oz of milk (or two glasses) or 16 gallons of milk, all in the same breath (I was really trying to tell them 16 qts of milk). Upon realizing that I happily posted those two lines, I gave more thought to my mental lapses and decided that I could write an entire blog entry about all of the crazy and stupid things I've done in the last few days because of mental lapses. Enjoy!
I lost my cell phone, and when I finally decided I couldn't find it and gave up, I decided to locate my cell phone by calling it with my home phone. I don't have a home phone. I tried to call my cell... with my cell.
I walked away from the stove thinking I had turned the burner off because there was no flame. I have an electric oven, there should never be a flame!
I put my pot of soup on the back burner of the range, turned on the burner and walked away. When I started to smell my cast iron skillet, which I was not using, I realized that I had turned on the front burner, where the lid to my cast iron skillet was resting. Prior to this I had been checking on the soup and couldn't figure out why it wasn't warming up any faster.
I freaked out because I drove with my spare car keys. That meant I didn't have my house keys to re-enter the house. I couldn't have locked the door unless I had locked it from the outside, with the key I didn't bring with me.
I left the door unlocked!
I "retraced" my steps today through my office building, trying to find out where I had left my water bottle. Per usual, it was on top of the refrigerator, where I always leave it while I refill the ice trays. Always.
I wrote a check to myself.
I wrote a check to a business and signed it with my work credentials: "Katherine Homonai, NES."
I find it very scary that I function in society like I do without unintentionally killing anyone. I scare myself that at 23 I forget the things I do. But such is life, you need an insane person in your life to make it interesting. I hope you enjoy reading about my insanity. Sleep tight and don't let the fire ants bite.
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