Poor Life Decisions

"I hate summer, winter, fall, and spring. Red and yellow, purple, blue, and green. I hate everything."
This is the song I was singing on my way back from facilitating a class the other day. I didn't accidentally stumble across it on the radio, I deliberately asked the Googles to pull up the song and play it for me. I finished my sing-along as I walked into the office. My co-worker heard me, and didn't disagree with my choice of song.

Now, at that particular moment, I was actually having a pretty great day. My class had gone much better than anticipated, and it had generated a few leads for future work. There were no immediately pressing matters that needed my attention, so I wasn't heading back to any stressful situations. In fact, at that moment, I was happy!

I was just very tired.
And hungry.
And actively repressing reminders that bills needed to be paid and weeds needed to be pulled.
And pretending that I didn't need to schedule about twenty work-related things for September and October.
I was happy- I was just suffering the effects of poor life decisions...for the fourth day in a row. I was a runaway train about to turn into a full-fledged dumpster fire.

The poor life decision to stay up until 1:15 a.m. the night before, for no reason other than "just because."
The poor life decision to not eat the healthy food I purchased at the store, but rush out of the house in the a.m. so fast that breakfast was high-octane coffee and lunch was some of McArthur's best eats (Which was delicious, but my body was crying out for something vegetable and green more so than extra cheesy and pizza).
The poor life decision to not drink the water I brought from home, but imbibe on "hyper juice." (My co-workers still allow me to drink Mt. Dew when I'm tired, unlike my mother.)
The poor life decision to not keep my day planner with me at all times, so that I could easily record the aforementioned work-related things and schedule my bill payments.

Shortly before 4:00 p.m, my co-worker appeared in my office door and made sure I was shutting things down and getting ready to leave for the day:
"Do you still hate everything?"
"I never really hated everything. I have been in a good mood, I just feel like crap from making poor life decisions all week!"
"Well, I'm heading out. I'll see ya tomorrow. Go home and make good life decisions!"

I did not do that thing.

Typical Tuesday

I spent Monday night writing in my Passion Planner, using washi tape to make cute little charts and graphs, and utilizing at least eight of my ten highlighters. I love being organized. I like the feeling of control, the sense of accomplishment, and the presence of peace that it brings. But that was Monday.

Today is Tuesday.
Today I woke up at 8:00 a.m., which was a problem because I had wanted to leave for work at 7:00 a.m.
Today it was raining and the dog didn't want to go outside. (which meant he had already gone potty inside the house)
Today I chose my pants and my cardigan by determining which had been worn least since the last laundry day.
Today I chose my breakfast not on nutritional content, but by portability potential. So I had string cheese, a juice box, and fruit gummies.
Today I stepped out into the garage and realized that I had left my garage door open ALL NIGHT LONG.

For the first five minutes of my drive to work, I gave myself the usual lecture about how there's no excuse to be such an irresponsible adult at the age of 29. I, as usual, agreed with the points I was making and agreed with myself that I would make necessary adjustments to my behavior and daily schedule. (I am very persuasive when talking to myself.)

Forty minutes later I made it to work. I didn't notice my new co-worker's car in the parking lot, so I totally missed the fact that I wasn't the first person in the office. I tried to open the already open door with my key, and was then slightly embarrassed to open the door and see my co-worker staring at me from the copier.

Her: "How's it going today?"
Me: "Oh, you know. Just a typical Tuesday."