The Definition of Insanity

A long time ago, someone told me that the definition of insanity was "to perform the same task, the same way, and expect there to be different results each time."  Many of us can see this in our own lives, to some degree, but it's always much more fun to point it out in other's lives.  That is what I'm doing today.

It's finally "cooled down" enough that I can sit outside and eat lunch.  This in and of itself is a blessing, as it means I don't have to sit around listening to my co-workers complain about their Weight Watchers food.  But I digress.  Being able to sit outside and eat lunch means I get a front row seat to "people watching." Today's episode of people watching was called "Driveway Insanity."

Today I sat out in my car, facing Cedar Street and the little building that sits on the corner of Cedar Street and 78.   I called my best friend, I called my mom, I ate my PB & J sandwich, pretzels, and applesauce.  About half way through the conversation with my mom, I couldn't help but yell, "You idiot!"

You see, this little building on Cedar Street has a parking lot.  This parking lot is bordered by a sidewalk.  The side walk drops off about four inches to a median that you can't see from the parking lot.  Since you can't see the  drop off, a lot of people like to use that as a driveway of sorts.  This poses a number of problems. Please note that the following events all took place within a ten minute time frame.

Car #1 was a Kia Spectra.  Driver of Car #1 clearly thought it was a driveway, looked both ways, and then floored it off the sidewalk drop off.  Four inches may not seem like a large drop, but the car made a nice thumping sound when it hit the ground!  This was about the point where I shouted "You idiot" into the phone.

Shortly after this, I hung up the phone with my mom.  I finished my sandwich and looked out to the intersection, where there were two cops stopping traffic.  I watched them disappear around the corner, only to reappear a minute later pushing a red car. It was obvious they were trying to get the car out of the way.  Where did these two cops try to push the car?  Into the "driveway."  To be fair, these cops were strong (one man, one woman) and they pushed the car halfway over the sidewalk.  But the car got caught on the sidewalk, and it started to roll back down towards the road.  As the car rolled, the driver would place his foot firmly on the brakes. From across the street I could hear shouts of "TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF THE BRAKES!  THE CAR WON'T ROLL BACK ON US!  OK...JUST TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF THE BRAKE WHEN WE YELL PUSH!"  Thankfully, within two minutes a man in a pickup truck pulled up, hopped out, and pushed the car over the sidewalk.

The cops waved goodbye to the man, hopped in their car, and drove off.  The man in the pickup truck offered his cell phone to the man in the car, then returned to his own truck.  Now, the man in the pickup was heading down Highway 78 towards Charleston.  He was now heading in a different direction and needed to turn around.  Instead of driving to the next road, he too decided to drive up and over the sidewalk to turn around in the business' parking lot.  You might think that an extended cab, 4x4 truck would make it over such a minor bump.  To be sure, the truck had no problem.  The trailer he was pulling?  Not so much.  The trailer caught on the sidewalk and he had to backup onto the road, almost causing an accident.  He then attempted to clear the sidewalk again.  The third time didn't prove to be a charm either, as he finally just drove to the next intersection and turned around safely in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot.

That, my friends, is called dinner and a show.  My lunch ended shortly after the pickup debacle, and I returned to the building.  My co-worker asked me how my lunch was, and I told her that I had fun people watching.  She mentioned that she too had enjoyed "people watching."  However, she had not witnessed any of what I had seen, since she was more engrossed by the cops dealing with the man who had been in two different accidents in the parking lot (less than 200 feet from me) within thirty minutes.  Icing on the cake.

Have a fun evening, and always make sure you're driving out of the driveway, and not off a mini cliff.  Also, do not drive your car anywhere near the health department.  The end.