Why I will be purchasing appliances soon.

Laundry day is always "fun" for me.  At best, it's a short walk across the apartment grounds with a bulky, heavy basket in hand.  At worst, it has been a mess of broken washers, lost money, and stolen laundry baskets.  Today was probably an "in-the-middle" day. 

The first mistake I made was to leave without enough quarters.  Any time you leave the house without enough quarters for the washer, you know you're in for trouble.  I wasn't too worried though, I would just stop by the coin machine at the car wash when I stopped to put air in my tires.  

Nope.  Plan fail.  Coin machine non-operable today.  Shoot.  As I walked back to the car, I thought about my options.  "I could go to the laundromat up the street."  I almost turned the car toward the main road, but then realized two things: That laundromat is almost twice as expensive as the one at the apartment, and I had bread baking in the crock pot.  (Yes, you read that last part correctly.)

So now on to plan B.  I could just make do with the quarters I had.  A quick check to the coin purse revealed enough quarters to wash one load of clothes.  Now I had another dilemma: What should I wash?  I stared at the two baskets in front of me.  Should I was this load so that I could drift off to sleep on fresh, soft sheets?  What about my favorite pair of jeans?  Or that new shirt that I adore so much?  Oh yeah, my stupid work slacks.  I might need clean clothes for work. 

Sigh...what was I going to wash?  "Wait! Even if I wash the clothes, I will need to dry them!  I can't wash the clothes and then not dry them!!"  Sure, I could hang them to dry on the shower curtain or even the DRYING RACK that I bought like I had many times before, but tonight I just wanted the clothes dried now.  It was inconceivable that I wait until the next day to wash and dry the clothes, after I would have been able to stop and get a roll or two of quarters from the bank.  No, I had to find a solution now. 

Vending machine!! I remembered that someone had once told me to feed dollar bills to the vending machines and get quarters back.  Since there is a vending machine in the laundry room, I felt like I had hit the jackpot.  About thirty seconds later, it sounded like I had hit the jackpot too.  I had fed my dollar bill to the machine and kept hearing coin after coin drop into the return.  Was I the recipient of a damaged yet generous machine?  No, I was getting dimes back.  Grr... Now, not only did I still have no quarters, but I lost a dollar bill that could have been turned into quarters.  

Again I was faced with the dilemma of what to wash and the knowledge that I would be turning my bathroom into a makeshift laundry room.  I was discouraged.  Then, suddenly, an idea came to my mind: This vending machine might be spitting out useless dimes, but there were TWO MORE vending machines in the complex.  Out the door of the laundry room and over to the pool area I went.  Yes!  Thank goodness!  Four dollar bills and a walk back to the laundry room later, I had enough quarters to wash AND dry my clothes tonight.

And that, my friends, is why I will be purchasing appliances soon.  Even on the good days when I am smart enough to accumulate the required number of tokens before attempting to start laundry day, it's still an obnoxious process that I'm losing money on in the long run.  So tonight I will spend some time setting up a mini savings account for myself, with the ultimate goal being a new-to-me washer/dryer set.  

Well, once again it is time to close.  That crock-pot bread?  Not the lightest or fluffiest bread I've ever made, and certainly not as good as my Grandma's bread, but overall it's pretty darn good if I do say so myself.   And with that said, it's time to go eat another slice with dinner!

Have a great week everyone!

If I Were A Rich Man...

Last night, due to a combination of disrupted sleep pattern induced insomnia and a screaming ear ache courtesy of my latest illness, I found myself wide awake and staring at the ceiling at 3:30 a.m.  Anytime I find myself in this situation, I don't waste time trying to lull myself back to sleep.  No, I pull out the big guns: my MP3 player and its library.  Such was the case last night.  After a few songs I was on the verge of sleep when the next song started playing: "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof.

 Again, wide awake at 3:30 in the morning, I started thinking as the song progressed.  If I were a rich woman, I wouldn't have to work hard.  I wouldn't have to be stuck in an office from 8:30-5:00 each day, keeping up with an endless parade of people, prescriptions, and phone calls.  I figured I'd work part-time- just enough to have "something to do" a few times a week, but leaving me plenty of time to pursue other hobbies.  

If I were a rich woman, I too would build a big house.  I wouldn't be as focused on the staircases as Tevye was, but you can be sure I'd have a wrap-around porch.  Rather than a city house, I'd want a big spread in the country; and I too would have chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks, all squawking just as noisily as they could.  I have a long list of plants that would fill my gardens in the summer and cupboards in the winter.   

Tevye might have wanted the important men to come to him with their problems, but I figured that in my wealth I would have people coming to me for my writing expertise, seeing as how I would have used all that time I lack to sit on my patio and write and build my freelance career.   Rather than a praying in a seat by the eastern wall, I'd be greeting the sunrise from the eastern side of the house as I enjoyed breakfast on that nice porch I'd built.

"LORD who made the lion and the lamb.  You decreed I should be what I am.  Would it spoil some vast eternal plan, if I were a wealthy man?"  As the song ended, so did my little dream world.  I'm sure on many, many levels my life would be nothing like it is if I were in a different position in life.  Just from reading the above paragraphs, if I were a rich woman I'd be more lazy and selfish than I already am!  In light of that, I'd rather keep the people and things that I have now, which have provided me with an extremely blessed life, than risk that happiness and joy for something as fleeting as wealth.  Deep thoughts for a Sunday night, I know. 

So as another weekend comes to a close and I'm forced to deal with the fact that work is less than twelve hours away,  I'll just have to keep dreaming that I'm wealthy enough to not have to think about going to work.  Ha.   

Best Moment of the Day

As I walked out of the health department on Thursday, I heard the door click and lock behind me.  It's not an uncommon sound, but it was a sweeter sound than normal, because it signaled the start of a four-day weekend.  For the last month and a half now, I've been looking forward to this weekend.  When I heard that click I thought to myself, "This is probably the best moment of my day."  Over these last four days, I've had that same thought several times.

Thursday, as I walked in to meet with friends I thought, "This is the best moment of my day."  Hanging out with friends and enjoying a change of pace from the craziness that is WIC is an awesome way to end the day.

Later that night, as I opened my futon into a "bed" and settled in for an Office marathon I thought, "This is the best moment of the day."  I rarely ever watch DVDs without using them as background noise while I'm doing other things, so to sit down and be comfortable while I enjoyed The Office was nice.

Friday morning when I woke up at 11:00 I thought, "This is the best moment of the day."  Depending on the day, I either wake up pressured to get up and get started working on a project or I wake up tired because I was up too late the night before.  But Friday, I woke up completely refreshed, having slept until I was no longer tired and knowing that I didn't have a thing planned for the day.  Talk about a great feeling.

Saturday morning, when I was singing my favorite songs while I cooked delicious food (Buckeyes and Chicken Pot Pie) I thought, "This is the best moment of the day."  I love to cook when I have free time, and Saturday was no exception.  I also love to sing favorite songs when no one else is listening, so that was good too.

By the time Saturday was over, I was exhausted after a day of hard work, a night of fun with friends, and a viewing of Inception (which I will forever label 'Worst Movie Ever.')  As my head hit the pillow I thought, "This is the best moment of the day."  It's a great feeling to go to bed knowing you're tired because you worked hard during the day.

Sunday after church I took Cooper for a long walk down the Sawmill trail and thought, "This is the best moment of the day."  It was fairly quiet, definitely warm, and great exercise while I cleared my mind.

This morning I was sitting on my patio and thought, "This is the best moment of the day."  It was sunny, the birds were singing, and it was just the right temperature.  Sitting and relaxing on my patio during the early morning hours without having to rush and get ready for work is fantastic.  (My new goal in life is to make that a daily occurrence)

Today I was at the checkout at Publix and thought, "This is the best moment of the day."  When you save $20.00 off your $45.00 bill because you combine sales with coupons, life is good.  It's pretty exciting.

Finally, at about 10:00 I looked around at my sparkling clean house I thought, "This is the best moment of the day."  Over my four day weekend, I finished everything I wanted to accomplish and then some, and I did it with time to spare.

But now, sadly, is the worst moment of the day.  I know I need to go to bed and get ready for work, but it's so much more fun to stay up and watch 30 Rock reruns while writing.  Stupid bills that need paid.  But I'm guessing that about 5:01 tomorrow afternoon, I'll be back to enjoying a "best moment of the day."

The Pumpkin Method

The more I write for work, the less I write for fun.  Therefore, with three major projects within the last three weeks, there is no blog! But now I'm back, and the same as ever.

There has been a lot going on down here in good, old South Carolina over the last month.  I have had more days where I go to bed physically and mentally exhausted from everything I had to do than I have in quite some time.  Some mornings, it means I am the grouchiest person in the clinic; but most of the time I'm at least a little thankful.

One of the first interesting things I did this month was go to Civil Rights and Customer Service training.  This is a fun little soiree that all federally-funded employees must attended every year, just to remind us that we can't deny services based on a client's protected classification; plus a little bit about making everyone happy.  The same person gives the same lecture based on the same forty slides each year.  It's quite thrilling.  Now, you may think I'm being sarcastic when I say it's thrilling, but I promise I'm not.  Okay, maybe a little, but not as much as I usually am.  

This year, the training got cut from eight hours to four.  I was over-the-moon ecstatic about that.  Instead of fighting off sleep for seven hours, I only had to fight off three.  It also meant that our instructor would be talking at a rapid pace, meaning we'd get through all the slides faster.  After four years in college, I hate PowerPoint slides.  I hate them.  Really.  

At one point in the training, it started to feel like some kind of stereotypical Southern church service.  A few of the women are closer to menopause than others, so they were fanning themselves with the handouts.  The speaker was dynamic and would often stir up the crowd with a few "You know what I mean!" statements.  Every so often, she'd say something that everyone agreed with.  The "amen row" was all over those statements.  Every time they agreed with her, there were four or five women saying "AMEN!" in the row behind me.  I spent more time laughing at them than paying attention to the lecture. 

But the best part of the day was the video at the end.  It was your typical fluff video: The stressed-out couple with a baby walks up to the airline counter and is VERY ANGRY that their bags are lost.  Oh no!  The bags are in France!! How will the angry wife ever get her bridesmaid's dress in time for the wedding?!  Lucky for the couple, super-cheerful customer service lady saves the day.  

Throughout the video, there were different scenarios presented, to show us how we could approach different situations and respond to them appropriately.  One of the mock situations was someone swearing at us.  Instead of hearing the bad words, we were supposed to take away their negative connotation by replacing them with a "nice" word, like pumpkin.  

Seriously.  The video literally had the male character talking about "what kind of pumpkin employees are you?"  I lost it at this point.  I was way past taking any of this seriously anyways, and the idea of letting my clients talk about their "pumpkin boyfriend" and their "piece of pumpkin" stroller was too much.  Along with the Amen Crew, I laughed until I cried.  It was even better when we got back to the clinic that day.  It didn't matter what was happening, what was being said, or what we felt like.  Everything was pumpkin.  "Can you hand me that, pumpkin?"  "Where is my pumpkin pen?" Sometimes we are mature professionals, and sometimes we are little kids who need controlled.  

I will say though, the pumpkin method has its perks.  I cannot stand it when people swear just for the sake of swearing, so when I hear them running their mouths about whatever and inserting a swear word every other line, all I hear is pumpkin.  At that point, I laugh at them even more than I normally would.

Well, the fun writing is over, so it's back to the work writing.  No complaints though, work writing pays well!

Soundtracks

"Who's singing? I hear singing."  Oops.  I didn't think anyone could hear me.  I focused in on the work sitting on the desk in front of me and pretended I hadn't heard anything.  It didn't matter, it only took a second or two for her to reach my office and ask, "Was that you I heard singing when I walked by?"  While I don't like to admit singing in public, it wasn't worth a lie.  "Were you singing along to the radio?  No?  Oh, how cute.  You have your own little soundtrack."

It's true.  Most of the time I have a song running through my head.  Who doesn't?  I figure it's not a terrible way to spend the day.  It's like hold music or elevator music, just a little something to make you forget that you're not doing anything terribly exciting.  My "personal soundtrack" usually reflects my mood too.

The other day I turned a corner to see Tracy, our regional nutrition education supervisor.  She is responsible for overseeing all of the WIC certifiers, and conducts all of our annual audits.  I didn't even greet her when I saw her, I merely said, "I've been expecting you."  Tracy is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, but its always nerve-wracking to have someone stand over your shoulder, evaluating your every move.  "When you get your next chart, we'll do your audit," she said.  A few short minutes later, as I headed towards my room with my clients, the song "Phantom Regiment" by Leroy Anderson was going through my head.  "Lightly dark" is how I describe the mood of the song, and that's what I was feeling- a little nervous, but I knew I would be okay in the end.

Thursday through Saturday of last week was pure and simple torture for me.  I wanted so badly to be outside, enjoying the beautiful weather, and instead I was stuck in stinky diaper land.  The mantra around the clinic on busy days is, "Is it five o'clock yet?"  So naturally, as I sifted through non-participation letters that needed to be sent, set up for a hemoglobin finger stick, and sent various faxes, all I could think about was "Five O'Clock World" by The Vogues.  This is when my boss caught me singing, and she especially appreciated hearing, "while another day goes down the drain."

Last Tuesday, I was working on a project when a song on the TV drew me out of my work trance.  It was "Sh-Boom" by the Chords.  This has been my "happy song" for the last week.  I was in a good mood because of the gorgeous weather and I love oldies anyways, so the cheery song stuck in my head.  Over the last week any time I've been in a good mood, I've been singing "Sh-Boom."  As I've been working around the house, shopping, walking the dog, etc, I've been singing that song.  I realized today though, that until this morning when classes started going well, I haven't been singing the song at work.  Hmm...

My personal soundtrack goes with me wherever I am, whatever I'm doing; and not only does it make the mundane moments a little more tolerable, it also provides some humor.  Last night, as the dog and I were exercising around the grounds of Martins Creek, I was singing my happy song in my head as we walked around.  As we neared the end of the trip, Cooper went from walking beside me to jumping a foot in the air and almost knocking me over.  Flies were swarming a smushed toad in the driveway, and they scared him.  Because he had startled me, the song left my head and I walked the last two minutes of the loop in silence.  How disappointing and boring they were.

I love a good picnic

Sunday morning, I hemmed and hawed to answer a simple question: Are you going to the picnic tonight? (Don't you love my use of Southern phrases?) I don't mind going to picnics, but I didn't necessarily want to make the haul out to the state park, and I didn't necessarily want to go out and find some food so that I could make an appetizer to take. With a busy week and a Saturday of work coming my way, I knew I really shouldn't go if I didn't have my life in some semblance of order.  Finally I gave the best answer I could, "If I can get enough done today, then I'll be there."  Long story short, I was there.  Simply, I didn't want to pass up the chance for some quality time with friends while having fun and eating lots of yummy, free food.

Seeing as this was a church picnic, the first order of the night was baptisms in the river.  Dedicated (ha) readers may remember that I went swimming in a river, only to find myself jumping out when I was told about the resident gator.  This would be THAT river.  I wasn't the only one thinking about this, as several people standing near me on the bank of the river joked about shouting "gator!" as the people waded into the water.  It was a neat experience, a la Round Lake, and I realized I still am slightly shocked when a group of 100 people spontaneously starting singing hymns a capella.

After the baptisms we headed up for food.  The line was SO long and SO slow, but it worked in everyone's favor.  We stood around and just chatted with friends in line, playfully chided "cutters," and caught up on life in general.  I even saw a few faces that I haven't seen in awhile and got to say "hey" to them.

The line was worth the wait.  Let me just explain how much better Southern picnic food is than Northern picnic food: Every other dish was macaroni and cheese, there was cornbread and biscuits, huge piles of watermelon, fried chicken (even though I don't eat it, it sure smells good), and the drink table was 50% tea.  Not "sweetened" or "unsweetened," just simply "tea." There was some potato salad and some baked beans, but it wasn't as prevalent as I'm used to seeing.  The desserts were out of this world too.  Delish.

 All of this pales in comparison to the social aspect though.  It was cool to look out upon the picnic area and take in the sheer volume of attendees.  Families were clumped together; eating, laughing, and playing.  Kids of all ages were running around in between the clumps, playing everything from tag to soccer.  Watching two year-olds "throw" Frisbees® is absolutely hilarious.  For my part, I sat in the shade and just chatted with people from my small group.  I got to know a few people a little better, and got to enjoy some very good conversation.

The night ended with a few games of "Nuke 'Em."  The best way I can describe this is by calling it "fake volleyball."  Essentially, you throw the ball over the net, and someone on the other side catches it.  If it drops, they're out.  This goes on and on until the last man standing wins. While it might not seem like much, there's no small amount of strategy involved; and as the number of your teammates dwindle, you're running like a chicken with it's head cut off.  

The party wound down a little quicker than some expected, but it was probably good, considering the amount of mosquitoes flying around and feasting on the attendees.  Overall though, it was a beautiful evening, one I look forward to repeating next year.  I love a good picnic.

Well, I'm looking forward to another fun night of conversation and laughter, and a few games of "Spanish hangman."  If C.J. can't go to Spanish class, we'll bring Spanish class to her!

The Day the Weather Broke

When I woke up this morning, I knew something wonderful had happened.  I could sense it, I could feel it.  The weather broke.

Back in Ohio, the "weather break" starts in February and carries on little by little through May.  Essentially, there is a nice day or two and then you're back to gray skies, snow, and misery for another few weeks.  Then, finally, after you were just about to give up hope that it would ever be nice again (Ohio's Third Season: Still Winter), spring would come.  It was a build up that seemed to take forever and always left me in a state of frustrated longing for flowers and warm temperatures.  Not so here in the Palmetto State.

Granted, I only have two years (only?!) of experience, but I have sensed a pattern here in South Carolina.  About the time you're cursing high cooling costs and wondering why on earth people ever chose to live in such a miserably hot and humid climate, one special day comes when the weather completely changes, and you realize once again how nothing could be finer than Carolina.  Last year the magical day was September 7, and this year September 10.

Today, I woke up and actually felt like I needed to use my comforter because it was so comfortably chilly in the room.  Cooper was curled up in the closet because he no longer appreciates the cool weather.  I was actually happy and cheery on our morning walk because the air was still, crisp, and fresh.

My good mood was still present as I walked into work.  Usually, I'm making a beeline for the door because it's just downright hot outside, but today I took a semi-leisurely stroll into the clinic.  I was still oohing and aahing over the sensation of "cold."

The inside of the office was just as nice.  Usually the lack of insulation is a pain- like in the winter when the temperature drops to sixty-something and you're convinced the babies are going to turn into Popsicles; or in the summer when you're convinced everyone is going to melt into little puddles that have eyes.  Today, however, the room was a comfortable seventy-four degrees.  Perfect for happy clients and happy Kate.

Lunch was amazing.  I like to be anti-social and sit in my car at lunch.  Actually, I like to sit in my car at lunch so I can get "work" (my freelance stuff) done in peace and occasionally take a nap.  I haven't been able to eat in my car since mid-May.  But today I was, and I did.  I had parked my car in the shade and got to sit back and relax while I enjoyed a few moments of shut-eye while a steady and cool breeze wafted through the car.

Coming home was even better because I got to drive with my windows down.  It's actually not all that wonderful, because most of my drive consists of busy, dirty roads.  But hey, driving with windows down is so relaxing, and it was wonderful to have that freedom again.

As soon as I got home, every window in my house was opened, because there's not much that makes me happier than my house smelling like fresh air.  I sat on my patio and ate dinner while I worked on some more projects.  After dinner, I took Cooper for a long walk.  I actually had to make myself head back home, because it just felt too nice to NOT be outside.

And now, while I'm not sitting outside (curse you, West Nile-laden mosquitoes), I am right in front of my dining room window, watching my sheer blue curtains sway in the breeze, with the dusk sky as a fitting backdrop.  Today, the weather broke, and I am happy again.