Ready

Ready- adj- in a suitable state for an activity, action, or situation; fully prepared
            verb- prepare for an activity or purpose

Last night, I settled onto my couch to channel surf for a few minutes before I went to bed.  After skipping over a few obnoxious reality shows, Law and Order reruns, and whatever was on PBS, I came across the news just as the weather report began.  Waiting for the weatherman to tell me I was going to have perfect weather for my walk at the park the next day, I was a little surprised to instead hear about the tropical storm that was spinning just off the coast.  I paid close attention for a few seconds, only to quickly move on to the next channel when the weatherman said it wasn't going to come anywhere near me.

This isn't to say that I don't care about tropical weather.  Earlier this week we had a couple of relatively minor storms that caused a lot of problems, and all I could think was, "If this is just a little storm, what the heck would a hurricane be like?"  But there's no sense in losing sleep over something that wasn't going to affect me.  Besides, I "know" that I am ready.

Last year when Tropical Storm Emily came close enough to warrant a few NOAA e-mails from our emergency prepardness director, I went out and bought EVERYTHING I needed for a hurricane kit.  Then, when Hurricane Irene came close enough to scare everyone, I went out and bought just a little bit more.

Like I said- I tried to cover everything- many gallons of water, juice, canned fruits and vegetables, canned chicken, some granola bars, applesauce cups, and plastic silverware.  I had enough food to last for a week! To top it off, I used some old "disaster" menus I made for school and tailored it to make my own personal hurricane menu.  When Irene came around, I stocked up on batteries, dog food, and the last three gallons of water on the shelf.  I also had a blank book, ready to start writing a book during the three days that the power would be out (I was trying to be optimistic!)

Then, when Irene didn't stop by, I gradually started picking at my stores.  First I took the juice, the applesauce, and the granola bars for my lunch.  Cooper gnawed on a couple of jugs of water, allowing them to slowly leak into my carpet.  No wonder I couldn't figure out where that musty smell was coming from.  He also ate my honey nut Cheerios.  I figured out once and for all that I hate, with a capital H- Hate, canned meat of any kind when I went to use the chicken in a recipe.  Slowly but surely, the canned fruit and vegetables made it into various casseroles and baked desserts.

So come January (when I first discovered the emptied and shriveled jugs of water), I looked down into my hurricane basket and sighed.  What had been a full basket that would carry me through the h-e-double hockey sticks that would be a category 3 hurricane was now a pink basket with a container of Purell and a box of mixed cutlery.

Since then, I've started adding back to my little stash.  Like I said- I hate canned chicken, but I now have a few cans of beans, a container of peanut butter, a can of almonds, and some Ravioli for protein purposes.  Triscuits are in still in the box, and I added some club crackers.  I found some high fructose-free applesauce cups for half price with a coupon, and I decided to make my peace with the canned peas and carrots.  (Somehow they will get mixed in with something I actually like.)

The water is now on the top shelf, far away from the dog's fangs. I found out that Bi-Lo offers a "buy the name brand, get our store brand free" offer for some yummy granola bars, and I splurged on more juice boxes and Capri Suns.  I figure if I'm going to be cowering for protection in my closet, I may as well have all kinds of yumminess nearby.  Speaking of that...maybe I should get a little chocolate?

All in all, Alberto is far away tonight, so I have probably have at least another two months or so before there's any more mention of a hurricane.  Also, the reality is, no matter how ready I think I am, I will still probably be scared out of my mind if anything heads toward Charleston.  Additionally, I have set my hurricane category limit to "2."  Anything more than a category 2 and I will be taking an impromptu vacation to Ohio. Or maybe Tennessee, since driving to Ohio would violate my "never driving 77 North alone again" rule.

In any case, I have a strawberry rhubarb pie to finish baking.  Hopefully it will be as delicious as I am imagining.  Have a great week everyone!

Quiver

Quiver- verb- A slight trembling movement or sound, especially one caused by a sudden strong emotion.

I stood in the middle of my living room, lip quivering and eyes blinking hard to hold back the tears. I thought to myself, "Get it together, Kate!  You're an adult for goodness' sake!"  A few seconds and a couple of deep breaths later, I had calmed down enough to return to the project I had been working on, but the emotion of that moment stuck with me for a while longer.

I like to think I'm "big and bad" in trying times, meaning that I have control over any situation and can handle any problems that come my way in a cool, calm, and collected manner.  I like to think that in difficult situations, I always act like I did last Wednesday.  That day I had clients angry at me, the regional education director wanting to know why we hadn't started utilizing our new lesson plans, project managers pressuring me to finish a project I had no control over, and the new trainee playing "Twenty-One Hundred Questions" with me.  Oh, and I was having a bad hair day and my shoe was starting to fall apart.

But it all ended up being just fine- the clients may not have left happy, but they were treated politely and fairly in a timely manner.  My director was accepting of the reasons why we hadn't started the new lessons and left the clinic smiling.  The project manager and I reached an understanding as to what I needed before I could finish my part of the project, and the new trainee ended up following another co-worker.  My cute new headband took care of the bad hair day and a piece of Scotch tape fixed the shoe long enough for me to make it through the day.

With that said, what I want isn't always what I get, and how I think I should act isn't always what happens!  Monday was a stressful day at work- we had no electricity, internet, or phones when I got to work and my car battery died and needed replaced when I left work.  I handled the work problems professionally, but broke down and cried when it came to the car.  I was emotionally spent by the time I got home and sat down to dinner.

More frazzled than ever at this point, I was sitting at the computer and trying to focus on an article I was writing, when all of the sudden a loud boom sounded directly over my head.  My new neighbor, whose existence I kept forgetting, had dropped something on the floor.  The loud noise, coupled with inattention to my surroundings, startled me so much that I jumped out of my chair, screamed, and ran into the living room.  That's why I was standing in the middle of the room fighting back tears.  After the shock wore off, I was so mad at my reaction that I was no longer crying from fear, but from frustration.

The latter is an example what typically happens when I come up against conflict, fear, or frustration- a quivering lip, followed by a flood of emotions.  It's a maddening process.  Thankfully, with some prayer and persistence, I'm starting to skew towards a more calm approach to trials and tribulations, as well as being able to accept my shortcomings and laugh at myself more.  (It's a slow transition, to be sure!)  By bedtime Monday, I was laughing at my reaction and I had even shared the incident with my sister, who also laughed at me!

For the time being, I'll settle for a happy medium- like Wednesday night.  After my marathon day at work, I came home to an eerily dark and still apartment.  Turns out my building had been directly struck by lighting and had tripped the main breaker to my apartment.  After consulting with my neighbors, I called the office and waited for maintenance to come help, all the while bemoaning the fact that I'd have to spend my ENTIRE day off working with State Farm to file a claim for my damaged electronics after I got rid of all the spoiled food in my fridge and freezer.   I was mostly calm, with just a little bit of doom and gloom.  As it turned out, with one flip of a switch our maintenance worker restored power to my apartment and the food and electronics were all just fine.

As we draw to a close today, I would like to convey well wishes to my maternal unit.  Since it's been raining most of the afternoon, I've been thinking back to a Mother's Day about ten years ago.  We had been enjoying our tent, but due to some heavy rains it had become inundated with water.  We crammed ten people into a friend's camper for the night in order for my family to escape the flood.  The next morning, all ten of us went to brunch at a local restaurant.  Unshowered and wearing our slightly damp and grungy camping clothes, we sure were a sight against all of the moms in their floral print Sunday best! Ah memories!

Paradise

Paradise- noun- a place of extreme beauty, happiness, or delight.

With a contented sigh, I stretched out as best I could.  Complete relaxation came quickly as my head rested in my intertwined hands and my legs crossed at my ankles.  I'd had a pretty decent day at work, my dinner was delicious, the dog and I had gone on a pleasant walk, and with tonight's bike ride I was beginning to notice the positive effects of daily cycling.  At this moment, I was relishing in the near perfection of the day and felt like I was floating on air.

As I stared up into the sky, I watched the moon transition from a mere shadow partly obscured by clouds to a bright shape that heralded the coming dusk.

The few wispy clouds that were making their way across the sky allowed me to see a "caramel-colored sunset sky."  Golden-brown in color, I couldn't believe I had never before seen clouds quite that color.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the breeze was picking up and I watched the American flag begin to wave ever so slightly.  I watched as that same breeze moved the trees from their staunch position and caused the branches to sway ever so rhythmically.  

By now the clouds had moved on to the east, leaving nothing but clear blue sky above me.  It made for a striking backdrop as a flock of pure white seabirds flew overhead.

I closed my eyes again and relished the moment.  With a deep breath I took in the slight scent of the privet hedge blossoms, a not-too-distant barbecue, the blooming magnolias, and just a whiff of chlorine from the pool.

Yes, floating in the pool that evening proved to be wonderful.  But the best moment of the night came as a small voice from behind caused me to stir from my trance:  "Mommy, why do I have to go?"  "Because it's almost bedtime sweetie."  "But if I have to go to bed, why doesn't she?!"  I never heard the mom's reply because I was chuckling quite a bit as I thought to myself, "Because I'm an adult and I don't have to go inside and go to bed until I want to!" That moment felt like a childhood wish had been fulfilled and it made my night.  Pure delight and happiness right there.

Well, it is just about time to head out to the pool again.  Such a hard life I lead, I know.  Have a fun, safe, and happy week everyone, and join me in enjoying the fact that a full moon happened over the weekend, and not while I was in clinic with my clients.

O.A.R.S.

O.A.R.S.- Open-ended questions, affirmation, reflection, summary.

Meetings.  Love them or hate them, they're a part of the business world, and  WIC is no exception.  Several times per year, the entire region shuts down and we head to training sessions that cover various topics, all in the hopes that we'll continually improve as workers and make the world a better place.

We had another meeting today, and among the topics was O.A.R.S.  In a WIC certification (getting a person on the WIC program), we are supposed to converse with the client, find out what they want to talk about, what their concerns are, and then help them come up with their own goals and solutions to their problems.  In all seriousness, it is actually a helpful tool and can make the entire process much more pleasant for everyone involved.  But when I get distracted in a meeting and am no longer paying attention to the next topic on the list (which we've covered quite a few times), I use O.A.R.S. as a source of amusement.

The correct way to use O.A.R.S:
Me:  What concerns do you have for your child today? (open-ended question)
Client: He eats all of his foods except meat, and I don't want him to lose out on any nutrients.
Me: That's great that you're concerned about his nutrition. (affirmation)
Client: Yes, I want him to be healthy.
Me: So you want your child to be healthy, and you want to make sure he's getting enough protein in his diet.
(reflection)
Client: Yes.
<we talk for a few minutes about sources of protein...>
Me: So you were concerned about your child not eating meat, but you think he would like some of these other sources of protein, and that will make you feel better about his nutrition? (summary)
Client: Yes.  Thank you.  You're the best WIC nutritionist ever! (All example dialogue for these meetings is ridiculously cheesy.  Why not write some cheesy dialogue that benefits my ego?)

The incorrect way to use O.A.R.S., or "if I had used O.A.R.S. with other people I encountered today":
Me: Why did you think it was important to pull out right in front of me this morning? (question!)
Me: That's great that you wanted to save time and get to that McDonald's down the road faster than if you had waited ten seconds for me to pass.  (affirmation)
Me: So, you had to pull out in front of me just then so you could both get coffee and make it to work on time. (reflection)
Me: You were running late but still wanted your coffee and you had faith that I was paying attention to you and would stop in time, which I did. (summary)

Over the next half hour, I thought a lot about O.A.R.S. and how fun it can be if used in the right way, with the right sense of humor.  I may have to break this out at family reunions.  Well, I'm falling asleep at my keyboard, so I should probably move on to some other activity.  TTFN!

Noxious

Noxious- adj- harmful, poisonous, or very unpleasant.

A couple of weeks ago, the regional director of the Department of Health came to Summerville.  The purpose of his visit that day was to inspect the office and make sure everything was in order before the new state director came to tour our facility.  Halfway through his tour, he came to my office and noticed the terrific job the inmates from the local detention center had done painting my office.  (They painted AROUND my desk and a 2’ x 3’ poster that has since been removed from my office).  As he left the office, he talked about the need to paint the entire health department, but then laughed as he said, “and as soon as I do that, I’ll get twenty complaints about the smell of the paint.”

After he left, I was thinking about what he said and decided it was a little ridiculous that we would complain that much about a positive change, particularly after we had complained so much about the terrible paint job in the past.  So when we found out we were getting new flooring put in the office, I decided I would not complain about any noxious smells involved with the new flooring.

Thursday after lunch, we began the cleaning process.  Everything in our offices had to be removed- every last piece of paper, every random toy we had for the kids, and all the furniture.  As you can imagine, there was dust everywhere.  To combat the dust, there were no less than four cans of generic Pledge floating around the office, and the sound of aerosol spray being released was constant for those several hours we spent cleaning.  But I was not going to complain about the migraine-inducing lemon and orange vapor cloud that was hanging in the hallway like everyone else was.

Friday morning, the first thing the workers did was tear up the old carpeting.  Ten years of dirty shoes, spilled juice, and infant bowel movements and spit-up (its happened more than once) were in that carpet, so it certainly didn’t smell the best.  But I was just happy the carpet was leaving, so I wasn’t going to complain.

Apparently there were a few spots that needed to be leveled out, so some kind of weird cement-like compound was mixed and placed on the floor.  It smelled like limestone and they carried the open container of the mixture through the office for a good half hour. I was good though, I ignored my co-workers comments about the smell and kept on working.

The worst part of the process for a lot of my co-workers was the adhesive that was used for the tiles.  I’ll admit, it wasn’t that pleasant, but since we were now less than one hour away from having new, clean flooring, I wasn’t saying a word to detract from this great joy.

All day long, everyone who stopped by my office had something to say about the smell.  It was just like talking about the weather: “Hey, did you see they got the carpet out of Sharon’s room? But that smell is overpowering.”  “Wow, Wynne’s room looks a lot brighter with that new flooring. I hope that smell goes away by Monday”  It’s just what we said as we made our way through the day.

Finally, about four, my co-worker came around with my last client’s chart.  “Aren’t you bothered by that smell?  I can’t stand it!  Why couldn’t they do it on Saturday?  I’m going outside to get some fresh air before I get sick.”  As I took a breath and opened my mouth to start my speech about being happy that we were getting new floors and not complaining about the smell, I choked on the heavy floral scent of her hand lotion.

After my brief coughing fit ended, we ended up staring at each other for a few seconds while she waited for my response to her statement.  Several different thoughts ran through my mind, including the original speech about not complaining and a different speech about her hand lotion.  Finally, upon realizing the absurdity of complaining about smells to a woman complaining about smells, I smiled my best smile and said, “Why don’t we walk outside and get some fresh air?”

All’s well that ends well- the new floors are all in and there’s no sign of any painting in the near future, so we’re not likely to encounter any noxious smells anytime soon, save for some dirty diapers here and there.

Well, it’s ninety degrees outside right now and I want to go swim, so that is what I’m off to do!  Have a wonderful week.  Good luck to my friends who have finals coming up, Happy Birthday to my Grandpa Henry, and to everyone else- have a fun Monday at work!

Misery

Misery- noun- pain, physical or mental.

I laid there, eyes wide open, contemplating my next move.  If I moved to the right, I "knew" I would suffocate.  If I moved to the left, the pain of a thousand knives stabbing my flesh would flood my body.  I cried out, only to hear a low croak emitting from my mouth.  This wasn't a nightmare, this was reality.

Twenty-four hours later, I lay on a table, doing my best to breath evenly as a third vein in my arm was being punctured.    This time, my throat felt like it was closing up on me and I was experiencing that pain of a thousand knives again.  Again, this was reality.

So what the heck was going on? What kind of craziness was I getting myself into?  Honestly, it was nothing more than me just being a very over dramatic sick person.

It all started off with a sore throat.  While I've had increased run-ins with colds and whatnot since I've moved here, whatever malady comes my way usually resolves itself within a day or so and I'm only sad and unhappy for a short time.  But this sore throat/cold had plagued me for several days (of course while my family was visiting and we were going to all kind of beautiful places!) and finally got worse.  Friday night, if I tried to lay on my stomach (moving to the right from my side sleeping position!), the congestion would quickly become so bad that I would have to move again if I wanted to continue breathing.  Twenty-four hours later, my tonsils were so swollen that if felt like they were overtaking my entire mouth.

As for those thousand knives, those are all my fault.  Friday was beach day, so we took a trip to beautiful Beachwalker County Park on Kiawah Island.  Being an intelligent adult, I applied sunscreen before we got to the beach.  Being unintelligent, I waded in the water with my aunt, took turns trying out my body board with my cousin, and then laid in the sun while I read an entire magazine, all without ever reapplying sunscreen.  By the time we left, I was a little annoyed at what I thought was saltwater stinging my legs.  As it turns out, it wasn't saltwater as much as it was serious burns on the backs of my leg and my upper back.  That night, to turn left from my side sleeping position would cause ridiculous amounts of pain as my body protested the feeling of sheets against my legs.

The low croak was probably the best part of the story.  Anymore, I lose my voice so quickly when I get sick.   So even though I wanted to cry out in pain that night, all that came out was a sound that could probably be described as "effeminate Wookie."  The best moment was when my dog ran by me, full of enthusiasm, only to strike me with his very, very strong tail.  I full-out screamed in pain, but all that came out was a short, pathetic, "ugh."  I started laughing at myself, only to find that now, no sound was coming out at all.  I probably stood there for thirty seconds, looking like I was stroking out as my body shook with silent laughter.

The official diagnosis today at the doctor's was, "Your strep test came back negative, but you have all the symptoms, so here's a z-pack, go have some antibiotics."  After the initial strep test came back negative, they wanted to rule out mono, so new Medical Assistant tried unsuccessfully, twice, to get blood out of me. Finally the more experienced tech came in and was successful in obtaining a testing sample, so I only have three holes in my arms right now.

So here I am, sitting on my couch on this fine Sunday afternoon, still unhappy with the situation and cursing my decision to not buy Popsicles and chicken noodle soup when I was at the store.  I demand that someone come to my house and take care of me until I no longer feel sick.  I don't care if you have to drive 700 miles to get here, I just need you to come here and cook, clean, and entertain for the next five days until I am no longer in misery.  Thank you in advance for your sacrifice.

In all seriousness though, I am hopefully on the mend.  I am hoping my double dose of antibiotics works some magic here in the next several hours (remember that episode of the Magic School Bus where they learn about viruses and whatnot? I am envisioning that!)  Have a wonderful Sunday evening, and remember your sunscreen.  Always remember your sunscreen!

Lizard

Lizard- noun- any of numerous reptiles of the suborder Sauria or Lacertilia, characteristically having a scaly, elongated body, movable eyelids, four legs, and a tapering tale.

There I stood, mid-thigh deep in the Edisto River.  Cooper was on his leash, splashing around and just generally acting like this was the best day of his life.  I had come to this place for a change of pace for the weekend, and it was wonderful.  Peace and happiness would be mine for the remainder of this moment.

We had taken a mini-road trip (it's not a road trip unless it's at least an hour away) to a local state park.  I wanted to go hiking, and I knew Cooper would appreciate a long walk AND a car ride.  So I packed a lunch and we piled into the car, and half an hour later we were at the foot of the nature trail, ready to head out.

The trail was small and not the most well-marked path I had ever been on, so half of my attention was focused on where I was going.  Also, I have yet to buy bug spray, so the rest of my attention was on the mosquitoes swarming around my uncovered, unprotected arms.  Suddenly, my focus shifted as the dog bolted ahead, then jumped to the side, and finally ended up behind my legs, pushing me forward.

Let me just say, there are a million creepy crawlies in this state that I am unfamiliar with, and I consider them all venomous until proven innocent.  Whenever I'm somewhere new, I'm always fearful that they are hiding nearby, waiting to strike.   So upon watching my normally "chill" dog flip out, a number of thoughts raced through my mind.  Included among these thoughts were: "Don't scream, there's no reason to panic.  Wait, maybe I should scream, so when the snake bites me, someone will have come running to my rescue and we can get to the hospital faster.  Where is it?  What is it?  Why did my dog push ME towards the killer boa constrictor, aren't dogs supposed to be man's best friend and protect me?!"  Yeah.  I'm all about panicking for no reason.

Finally I spotted the little offender.  It was a green anole whose sunbathing we had interrupted, and Wonder Dog had been startled by the little guy's acrobatic leaps from stair to tree to nearby log.  Seeing this, I was thankful, because anoles are pretty harmless little guys.  In fact, just this morning I watched one crawl across my patio, drink some standing water, and then show off his little red throat fan.  I actually will go so far as to call them cute.  So with an annoyed sigh, I summoned my questionably faithful companion (who was now urinating on a tree) and continued on down the path.

About an hour later we finished our hike with the only additional wildlife encounter being a bright red cardinal who was picking the forest floor for something.  Upon finding out that there was a river nearby (my geographical knowledge of this state is pitiful), I took Cooper on down toward the bank so we could relax in the shade.  It turned out to be the best idea of the day, as I got to sit and eat lunch while watching a Hispanic church have their Easter service right there by the river, baptizing a few members and singing beautiful songs I didn't understand except for the word "Hallelujah."   It was quite wonderful.

This brings us back to the beginning of this story.  After the church group headed towards their picnic area, several of us who had been hanging back waded into the river.  I was enthralled with the soft sand under my feet and the beautiful scenery around me, and Cooper was literally diving into the water after leaves.  It was even more amusing when he realized his feet couldn't touch the bottom anymore, because rather than dog paddle back towards shore, he did a wave motion jump to try and move around.

A couple of younger girls were wading nearby and came over to pet Cooper.  Through the course of conversation, I mentioned that we had never visited this particular park before.  One of the girls and her mother started pointing out the various features of the park.  The next words out of the girl's mouth ended these peaceful moments I've been describing.  As we stood there, enjoying the water, the girl said, "And look, there's ONE of the alligators."

I don't know about you, but I do not swim with alligators.  Immediately I dragged Cooper out of the water, covering the ten feet to shore in record time.  The girl and her mom both laughed at my alarm, but were kind enough to take me to a safe viewing area and point out the beast.  "Don't worry, they don't bother us, but I wouldn't let your dog around him."  As I was clearly still concerned, the mom's reassuring words were, "Just give it a little space and think of it as nothing more than a big lizard, and you'll be just as comfortable swimming here as the rest of us."  

I gave a pleasant thank you and good-bye and headed back towards the car.  On the way back, I kept thinking about my "lizard" encounters for the day, laughed at the outrageous scenarios of each one, and decided that I will take anoles over alligators any day.

Now, safely back on dry land, it's time to go make some "Easter dinner" foods and make some preparations for my visiting relatives who will be here soon.  Yay!  Have a wonderful week, and be thankful that there are no alligators in River Styx.